Bondara “Mr Realist” Luxury Silicone Dildo

A couple of weeks ago Bondara got in touch with me and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing their new realistic silicone dildo with suction cup, and I took one look at it on their website and replied with an emphatic “yes.”
There was little chance of me turning down the opportunity to get my hands on such a glorious piece of silicone penis, and now you can catch the review below.

As someone who writes about sex toys, and has quite the extensive collection, people often ask me for recommendations when they’re considering making a purchase, and my first response as someone who cares strongly about body-safe materials is to extol the virtues of silicone. The problem that will often arise though is that other seemingly-incompatible criteria for the toy exist, such as the desire for it to be affordable, or to have a suction cup, and unfortunately that holy trinity of silicone, suction cup, and affordable is largely absent from the sex toy market. This is why I was quite excited when I opened the product page for the very first time, because not only does the description of the dildo give away that it has 2 of the key attributes, but the baseline price is also only £14.99, which is certainly low enough to tempt anyone away from a smelly rubber alternative.
Bondara’s new dildo is available in a total of 16 different variations, which is really quite impressive and shows how they’ve gone completely full out with their commitment to it. You can pick and choose precisely what you want, all depending on your size and colour preferences. It comes in either black, purple, pink, or ‘natural’ colour, and in a small, medium, large, or extra large size. For the purposes of this review I’m going to be looking at the extra large model.
The design of the dildo is as realistic as the name implies, which is why I opted for the ‘natural’ colour as the flesh-tone seems to only amplify that sense. I was surprised by how attractive the dildo was when I first popped it out of its packaging, because while it does looks nice in the product photos on the website, it’s so much more impressive when you have it in your hands and are able to view it from every angle. I’m probably more fussy than most people about what I think constitutes an attractive penis, and some of the dildos out there can be bordering the horrifying, so this one is an absolute delight. It starts off with a lovely big flared head, featuring a prominent coronal ridge and a somewhat blunt tip lacking any significant taper. The surface of it is completely smooth, juxtaposing it against the highly detailed shaft below. The head connects to the shaft with the presence of a raised frenulum on the underside, and you can clearly see the folds of a retracted foreskin present along the surface. Most of the detail along the shaft comes in the form of veins, which twist and meander all across the surface of the dildo, and stand quite proud of it. The shape of the shaft itself is not especially uniform, but that merely reinforces the life-like qualities of it. The top half of it is fairly broad, with no prominent vertical ridge lying along the course of the urethra, but as you travel down the shaft towards the base it appears to get narrower, while the vertical ridge emerges substantially, all giving an interesting shape to experience. At the base of the shaft is the balls which are probably the least realistic aspect of the dildo, and slightly odd-looking, but not really anything to be concerned with. The level of detailing and realism on the dildo isn’t quite as high as something you’d find from Fleshjack, but it’s substantial enough that it does make you wonder if it was actually moulded from a real model rather than merely being sculpted. My inkling, judging from the organic nature of the shaft shape and the vein patterns, is that it was in fact modelled from a real person, which only makes me curious about who it might have been, though considering the 4 sizes available there’s no way to know which one is the closest to the original. 
The dildo is of course made from silicone, which provides all the benefits of being body-safe, odourless, tasteless, and able to be sterilised and shared with a partner. The silicone itself is a little on the firm side, and not that lovely plush squishy sort that you get from Fleshjack, but it does have a little give in the surface when you squeeze it, and it can be bent and flexed about with a modest amount of effort. The firmness of the silicone is something that’s really only going to be a factor with the Extra Large model of the dildo, because with the smaller ones the reduced thickness of material overall will make them easier to compress and bend. With one of this size though my personal preference would be to have it a little softer. The surface of the dildo is matte rather than having a high shine to it, but it still feels very smooth on the whole, and there’s no graininess to it, even between all the texture on the shaft. 
The build quality of the dildo is generally excellent, and there are no mould lines anywhere along the surface, no frayed edges, no indications of material that was trimmed away, and the suction cup is a secure and integral part of it. The only defect I picked up on was a tiny little air bubble that left behind a small hole in the corona of the glans, but while unfortunate I can’t see it being problematic, and my feeling it that it’s a rare occurrence. 
The dildo measures a total of 9 1/2″ in length, with about 7″ that can actually be used, giving you a good amount to play with. The circumference around the widest point at the top of the shaft is 6 1/8″, a smidge more than advertised, so it really is a girthy beast, perfect for anyone to really likes it thick. The usable lengths of the other available sizes are: 5″ – Small, 5.5″ – Medium, 6.5″ – Large, and their girths are: 4.5″ – Small, 4.5″ – Medium, 5.5″ – Large.
When it comes to using the dildo you’re definitely going to want to use a warm up toy before tacking the extra large, and I say this from personal experience. It is just about possible to insert the head with nothing preceding it, but by the time you make your way down to the shaft you’re going to be very tightly stretched, which will make all the firm raised veins along the surface feel quite intense on your sphincter. For this reason it’s best to warm up first with a plug that’s a little thicker than the dildo, so you can be fully relaxed when you insert it, and this makes all the world of difference. With plenty of lube applied to the dildo the smooth head will slide comfortably into the body, and you’ll feel a pop or bump as the sphincter passes over that prominent corona. Because of the girth it really will give you a lovely sense of fullness as soon as it’s inside, which is why I tend to consider a 6″ circumference my favourite. Beyond the head you’ll start to feel all the texture along the shaft as you insert the dildo deeper, and provided you did your preparation first it’ll provide a lovely bit of stimulation all around the anus. Because of the shape of the dildo, and the rather blunt head coupled with the overall thickness, I found that it wasn’t possible to insert it quite as deep as other dildos, and I was able to make use of around 2/3 of the shaft at most. This is a factor that will vary from individual to individual however, dependent on physiology and experience, and I’ll point out that deep insertions have never been my strong suit anyway – girth is more my area of interest.

The are numerous ways that the dildo can be used, thanks in part to the inbuilt suction cup. You can thrust manually with it in any position, squat over it and ride it, stick it to a wall, you name it. Thrusting is where the dildo really comes into its own though, and it’s a real prostate pleaser. The key to the success of the dildo is that big bulbous head on the end, because once you get into a good rhythmic back and forth motion with it there’s no way that it can avoid hitting the prostate with every single in and out stroke. This tends to be a big part of why I enjoy the larger dildos, because not only is the fullness so satisfying, but they tend to be foolproof with the prostate. My preferred way to orient the dildo is with the top side of the head facing the prostate, so as you thrust you feel the rounded tip of it hit the gland, then the smooth broad surface area of the head firmly rubs and massages the prostate, and on the out stroke the prominent coronal ridge drags back over the surface of it for maximum stimulation. With a steady thrusting rhythm going this feels absolutely amazing, and to add to the pleasurable array of sensations all those textured veins along the shaft do a wonderful job of tickling and stimulating the sphincter, so every area has something to enjoy. The dildo does remain fairly rigid during thrusting, but it doesn’t need to do a lot of flexing about to accomplish its job, nor does it need to go deep. Just riding the head and top portion of the shaft is enough to send you to prostate heaven.

One of the key features of the dildo is of course the suction cup, and it’s a good sturdy suction cup which does its job well. It can securely support the weight of the dildo and hold it up against any smooth vertical surface such as a tiled wall. Equally it’s great for anchoring the dildo to a floor, or the bottom of a bathtub, allowing you to ride the dildo completely hands-free, without the worry of it jumping up or sliding about.
The packaging for the dildo is just a simple clamshell which serves its purpose, and in fact I wouldn’t normally even mention it, except for the fact that it’s quite generic and devoid of information. All it really tells you is that the dildo is made in China and for Bondara – it doesn’t even state the name of the product. Normally you’d expect some more information, such as what the dildo is made from, and what it measures, etc, so I found it ever so slightly strange, but when you consider that it’s only being sold online, and all the information is presented there, it’s not really an issue. It’s a little bulky for long-term storage, so consider investing in a fabric toy pouch.
I have to say I’m really impressed with this dildo, especially considering the price. It’s big, it’s beautiful, it’s made from a safe material, it works wonders on the prostate, it has a suction cup, and it’s highly affordable at only £21.99 for the Extra Large and even less for the smaller versions. If you’re looking for a great high-quality dildo with all the bells and whistles then I would gladly recommend this one to you.

You can pick one up right now from Bondara, and thanks to them for sending it over!

Tantus Suction Cup

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a great Christmas period, and that your stockings were filled with exciting sex toys to add a little warmth to these cold Winter nights. January is upon us and in an effort to break out of my seasonal hiatus a little sooner than in past years I’ve decided to ease myself into 2015 with a simple little review.
Tantus has just brought out a new iteration of their suction cup and I’m going to talk about it. A suction cup is something that I’ve wanted for quite a while now, because I have around seven Tantus toys that it’s compatible with, so get the low-down below!

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Keep Burning Worker Dildo

Last year Keep Burning sent me their beautiful and unique Cock Skull dildo to review, and ever since then I’ve been a big fan of the brand, and eager to try out another of their offerings. I’ve had my eye on the Worker dildo for a while, both because of its lovely shape and unusual “zebra” texture, and also because it’s a bit more of an everyday dildo compared the huge Cock Skull which requires a little working up to.
I was lucky when last month Keep Burning contacted me again and offered to send out a Worker for me to try, and they even generously threw in their new Plumber dildo too, so expect another review in the near future. For now you can get the low down on this one after the jump!

If you’re unfamiliar with Keep Burning then they’re a little company based in Luxembourg which handmakes a good selection of high quality dildos and plugs in Belgium, all from 100% silicone, so instantly they tick all my boxes for the sort of company I like to get involved with.
The Worker is a good above-average sized dildo, aimed at someone with a bit of experience with larger toys, but who isn’t looking to be stretched out too much. It measures 8 3/8″ from base to tip, and once you exclude the balls you have around 6 1/2″ – 7″ of insertable length, which should be plenty for most people. The average circumference is 5 5/8″ around the shaft, broadening to 6″ at the widest point of the head, and it feels like a nice meaty salami when you wrap both hands around the length of it. To put the girth in perspective it’s about a 1/2″ less than something like the Dolph Lambert dildo, which seems a little surprising until you put them side by side, because the Worker is quite imposing, but largely that’s down to the length.

The design of the Worker strongly phallic, with a degree of realistic details, but not quite approaching the same level as with the Plumber. It starts with a nice big bulbous head which is clearly-defined atop the shaft with its flared corona – and due to the lack of any foreskin detail below it – and it provides a prominent ridge around 1 1/2″ from the tip. The shaft itself is probably the most interesting part of the dildo, due to the unique “zebra” texture that’s embedded into it. The manifests itself as a series of shallow horizontal grooves all along the length of the shaft at random intervals, almost like the stripes of a zebra  if you’re to hold the dildo sideways, but when upright it reminds me more of the bark of a silver birch tree. However you interpret it it’s quite an attractive design feature, and certainly unique, so I appreciate it from a visual perspective immediately. The dildo finishes off with a decent-sized pair of balls, which I like to think of as being in that Goldilocks zone; they’re not so big as to be obtrusive, but neither are they too small and therefore ridiculous-looking. They’re fairly plain, yet attractive, and they provide both a good sturdy base for the dildo, and a great place to grab onto when using it. They also hold another secret, because flip the dildo over and there’s a hole in the base into which a suction cup attaches, and this comes included too.

The dildo is constructed to a very high standard; it’s all made in one solid piece, with no moulding lines to be found anywhere, and no pits, bubbles, or other defects in the surface. It’s quite clearly been made with a lot of care and attention, and as such it’s a quality product that you receive.
As you might have guessed already, the dildo is made from 100% platinum silicone, like all products from Keep Burning, and it’s one of my favourite materials. It’s completely odourless, non-porous, and bodysafe – all the things you want to have in a high quality toy. It’s ever so slightly softer than the standard Tantus silicone in my estimation, so it’s got a little bit of give when you squeeze it, and a nice amount of flexibility to bend it around. The finish is not entirely matte, but not a high gloss shine either, so it’s this interesting middle ground where it’s faintly textured but smooth in between, similar to the leather look I described in the Cock Skull. The only thing I don’t like about the silicone in this instance is that it has a weird stickiness to it which I find really confusing, and not only does it attract dust, but it still feels sticky even whilst dusty. It doesn’t really affect the use of it once you’ve rinsed it off and covered it with lube, but it’s not ideal, and I still find it puzzling, so I’m going to talk about my analysis of it a little more in a subsequent paragraph.

What I find so strange about the stickiness is that I only recall noticing it after I’d used both the Worker and the Plumber for the first time and then washed them off – which isn’t to say that it wasn’t there before, as I unpacked them and tried them out pretty quickly, meaning I could potentially have missed it – but instinctively I feel that it would have been one of the things I’d have taken note of immediately had it been present. The other thing is that my Cock Skull is not sticky, and it’s made of the same material, which almost suggests to me that something happened to create the stickiness. The lube I used with both the Worker and the Plumber was “Cum On Boy!“, a hybrid silicone/water lube which Keep Burning are currently giving away with all orders, and which says on the bottle that it’s safe for use with all toys. You’d assume that a company wouldn’t give away a lube that wasn’t safe for use with their toys, and in fact when I later patch tested the lube on the silicone suction cup that came with the dildos I didn’t get any reaction, rather suggesting that it’s not at fault. All of this means that it still remains a mystery why my dildos are so sticky, because I didn’t do anything different with them other than using the new lube. I’ve tried washing them with soap, using toy cleaner, boiling them, mildly bleaching them, all in an effort to get rid of the sticky feeling, but nothing has made a difference. I’ve even researched the issue online, but aside from the stickiness there are no other indicators to suggest a reaction with the lube; the surface is not gummy for example. I’m at a loss, but even though I have no real proof, I’d still suggest not using this lube with a silicone toy, just to be completely on the safe side.

Moving beyond that issue, the dildo is actually a pure joy to use. It is rather blunt at the end, so you’ll want to go slowly with it at first, or even use a warm up toy with a bit of a taper just to start you off. As the head of the dildo goes in it all feels perfectly comfortable and gentle on the sphincter, and then you hit that ridge of the corona and feel a nice ‘pop’ as you pass over it and it disappears inside. The girth of the toy does feel pleasantly filling, especially as the thick head travels all the way up as far as you can manage, and while the shaft won’t stretch you out too much it feels quite satisfying to just squeeze it with the muscle and appreciate the size. The shaft is more or less straight, with only the slightest forward curve, meaning you can use it inserted facing whichever way you like. My initial suspicion had been that the strong ridge on the corona would be a real winner when it came to stimulating the prostate, but actually that isn’t so much the case in my experience. I found that while the dildo does work really well on the prostate, it doesn’t actually matter all that much which way around the Worker is facing, and in fact I found it a little bit more pleasurable when the ridge was on the side facing away from my prostate, and it was just the rounded face of the head that was continually rubbing back and forth firmly across the gland.
The dildo is really lovely for thrusting with, because you get a double whammy of stimulation all at once. Inside the body you feel that filling girth doing a number on the prostate as the bulbous head shoots past it like a piston, and then around the sphincter it’s all about that zebra texture. The dildo glides smoothly in and out of the body with minimal drag, but it’s the subtle texture that you feel the muscle gently rippling over, so you’ve got all these focus points of pleasurable things going on. It’s actually an advantage here that the dildo doesn’t stretch you too much, because sometimes with a very tense sphincter any degree of texture can cause unwelcome friction, but in this case it gets it just right and delivers sensations you can enjoy. I find it’s one of those dildos that it’s best to squat over and ride, rather than thrusting with manually, as it allows you to develop a better rhythm, and thanks to the length of it you can pretty much plop it down on any surface and use it without the need to elevate it. Of course you are free to use it however you please, and thanks to that suction cup I’m happy to say that I’ve also enjoyed it in the shower. Logistically that’s a little more difficult to manage, but once you’ve figured the right height for it, and position of your body, it’s a lot of fun there too. The only caution I will make about thrusting quickly with it is that the ridge of the corona really does tug on the sphincter as you withdraw it, so you don’t want to suddenly pop off the end of it as you’re bouncing around, as that can lead to a bit of discomfort. You want to thrust with the head safely left inside you, concentrating on feeling that texture in the shaft, and then remove the head slowly at the end.
As for the suction cup itself, many of the Keep Burning dildos incorporate it as a feature, and I’m a big fan of this as it adds some more flexibility to the toys. The suction cup comes in this wonderful bright neon yellow which contrasts beautifully against the jet black of the dildo, like the colours of a wasp. The suction cup is also made of silicone and easily locks into place below the dildo. It stays in place very firmly and takes quite a lot of tugging to get back out again, but without needing a ridiculous amount of force, so it strikes a good balance between being secure and user-friendly. The suction cup works against most flat surfaces and holds in place very well, whether you’re sticking it to a floor or table, or the tiles on a bathroom wall. Last time I tested the ability of it to hold the weight of the Cock Skull to the tiles in my shower and everything stayed in place on the wall perfectly, so it’s a strong little thing. If you’re using it on the floor then you get two key benefits: the suction cup adds a little extra height, so when you’re squatting over it you don’t have to squat quite so low which increases comfort. The other factor is that the suction cup acts like a joint between the dildo and the floor, so when you’re down there and using it you can lean in any direction and the dildo will follow you, all the while staying anchored to the floor. The suction cup bends about giving you much more freedom of movement, and again this increases the comfort of the ride, allowing you to experiment with more positions.
The packaging for the dildo is quite simplistic; it comes with its suction cup attached, and all vacuum packed and heat sealed inside shrink wrap which bears the Keep Burning branding and a notice which states “warranty void if packaging has been opened.” It also has a small hologram stuck to the base which bears a CE mark and the words “Council of European Adult Products Manufacturers.” This isn’t an organisation that I’d heard of before encountering this brand, but all the same it does seem reassuring. I quite like the packaging because it’s everything that you need really; the plastic keeps it away from dust and acts as a hygiene seal, it’s minimal so you don’t have a huge box to throw away, and it allows you to see and judge the size of the product without opening it, so provided you heed the words on the plastic you can return it if you don’t feel comfortable with the size.
On the whole I have to say that I really do like this toy. It’s a great size, a great shape, it’s well made, has a fun texture, it looks lovely, and mostly importantly it does deliver some really good prostate stimulation. The only thing I really don’t like is that infernal stickiness on the surface of the silicone, because it bugs my OCD, even while it doesn’t affect the use of the toy at all. I have to believe though that this is just a quirk of my particular toy, or a result of that lube I used, so I really wouldn’t put too much weight in that fact when deciding if the Worker is for you. I’m not going to let it affect my recommendation because it really is a wonderful toy that I get a lot of pleasure out of using, so if you like a filling above-average size dildo that can hit you right where you want it in the prostate, then the Worker is definitely worth getting. 
You can buy the Worker straight from Keep Burning, and thanks to them for sending it to me!

Fleshlight Shower Mount

Is it really August already? How the summer flies by. I was very fortunate this month that Lovehoney contacted me and asked me to review the all new Fleshlight Shower Mount for them. It’s a pretty self-explanatory device which allows you to stick your favourite Fleshlight / Fleshjack to a wall, but in case you’re in need of a little more explanation here’s a very NSFW video of a sexy man demonstrating how to use it.
Catch the review below.

The Fleshlight is quite easily one of the best male sex toys on the market today, as well as being one of my personal favourites, but possibly the only area where it’s let down is by the fact that you have to hold it during use. The need for it to be held somewhat limits its applications by restricting it to more of a masturbation device than something to thrust into and simulate sex, but now the people at Fleshlight have finally come up with a clever solution.
The Fleshlight Shower Mount is an adjustable suction cup which screws onto the base of most Fleshlight models in place of the existing small end cap. It’s quite a simple device on the whole and has three main features: firstly the cap section which connects to the Fleshlight can be screwed into place as tightly or loosely as you desire, allowing you to adjust the suction within the Fleshlight, just like you would with the standard end cap. Secondly, the Shower Mount has a hinge in the middle which allows you to alter the angle at which your Fleshlight projects from the surface that you’ve affixed it to, according to your personal preference. The hinge moves through around 130 degrees, so you can thrust into the Fleshlight horizontally, up vertically, up diagonally, down diagonally, or anything in between. The hinge is adjusted by loosening and tightening a small plastic nut, so once you’ve selected your perfect angle there’s no worry of it shifting at all. Thirdly, the most important feature of the whole device is the suction cup itself, and this is good size at 3.5″ in diameter. The suction cup works by first wetting it and placing it against a smooth surface, then by rotating a small slider to lock the suction cup into place. Once engaged the suction cup holds really firmly, even with the weight of the Fleshlight on top of it, and it can withstand a good amount of vigorous thrusting without being knocked off.
Although the device is called the “Shower Mount” it can be used anywhere that you have a smooth surface available, such as on the door of a mirrored wardrobe if you really want to watch yourself in action, on a floor-to-ceiling window of a skyscraper if you’re feeling like an exhibitionist, and even on laminate flooring if you’d prefer not to use it in a standing position. As long as the surface is smooth then it’s fine, but probably the biggest advantage to actually using it within the confines of the bathroom is clean up, as once you’re done fluids are likely to drip out of the end of the mounted Fleshlight, depending on the angle you’ve set it to, so better for that to run down the shower tray than onto carpeting. If your surface isn’t completely smooth then don’t worry, as the Shower Mount can handle a small amount of unevenness in the surface of a glazed tile without falling off, but it really does need to be a full sized tile – mosaics aren’t going to work. When you are finally done with the toy it does actually come away surprisingly easily, despite how firmly it was held only moments prior. You simply rotate the slider into the unlock position, then pull on the small tab on the suction cup to peel it away from the surface.
On the whole I have to say that I’m a really big fan of the Fleshlight Shower Mount; I wasn’t sure that I could like my Fleshlights any more than I already do, but this little device just went ahead and improved them, and I’m definitely going to be getting a lot of use out of it. It opens up a whole new world of hands-free pleasure with your favourite masturbation aid.
One slight downside is that the Shower Mount isn’t compatible with the clear Fleshlight cases. It mentions this on the packaging and at first I didn’t believe it so I felt compelled to test it out for myself. It transpires that the end of the clear case is ever so slightly larger than that of the other colours, enough that it won’t readily screw onto the Shower Mount. The Shower Mount does now come with an adaptor to make it compatible with the Flight though.
I’d definitely recommend the Shower Mount to anyone who owns a Fleshlight; it’s great if you’d prefer to thrust into your toy, it can be used in a wide variety of locations and holds extremely firmly, and it can be adjusted to whatever angle suits you best. 
The Fleshlight Shower Mount is available from Lovehoney UK, and Lovehoney USA.

Keep Burning Cock Skull Dildo

A couple of days ago I was browsing social media, as I often do when trying to keep up to date with the latest comings and goings in the sex toy industry, when I happened to spot a Tweet featuring a product which really drew my attention – the Cock Skull dildo. As you’ll probably know I love unique and unusual products, so suddenly I had to know everything about this, including who made it and what it was made from, so off I went to do some investigation work. I soon discovered that the Cock Skull dildo is made by a little company based in Luxembourg called Keep Burning, and it’s not the only interesting design they have available either. What really stood out for me though is that all their products are handmade in Belgium from 100% silicone, and they even have a page dedicated to explaining why they do this, so instantly I knew that this was a company I was going to like.
Armed with this new knowledge my immediate urge was to share this discovery with everyone, so naturally I sent out a Tweet about this amazing-looking dildo, and it just happened that someone from Keep Burning saw my Tweet and messaged me with an offer of a product to review. I have to say that I was thrilled to be able to get my hands on one in such a short space of time after initially discovering it, and now you can read my review below!

The Cock Skull is really like no other dildo I’ve encountered before, and features a fascinating and intricate design which captures so much detail. It’s gothic, it’s macabre, and in a way it’s also beautiful if you happen to share an appreciation for that sense of aesthetic. It has a thick towering shaft which stands tall at an imposing 11″, and which measures 7 1/4″ around the middle, broadening to 8 1/4″ at the widest point. Of that 7 1/4″ are insertable, and at the base, instead of a pair of balls, sits a perfectly sculpted skull, looking like it was plucked straight out of an ancient catacomb. It is a slightly strange sight to behold, an oversized penis sprouting out of the top of a skull, and in a way it reminds me of an image from a fantasy novel, of a stout church candle placed atop a skull and allowed to fuse in place as the wax melts below the flame. It could just as easily be an idol or fetish, found lurking beneath a pyramid hidden deep in the jungles of South America. There are no shortage of comparisons that could be made with it, such is the nature of the piece, in fact my first urge when I unwrapped it was to hold it aloft in my hand and profess “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio” like Hamlet did with the remains of the court jester in Shakespeare’s play of the same name. While I’m sure it won’t be making its stage debut any time soon, however you choose to look at it it is undeniably unique, and that only adds to its appeal.
The Cock Skull is made from 100% platinum silicone, like all products from Keep Burning, and it’s one of my favourite materials. It’s completely odourless, non-porous, and bodysafe – all the things you want to have in a high quality toy. The dildo comes in just one colour, black, and has a matte surface with a leather-effect finish. Again it’s quite unusual to have a dildo with a leather texture, it’s certainly not something that I’ve encountered previously, but it does give a nice appearance, and a rather realistic one at that. It does look like it could actually be upholstered from leather, or how I imagine that one of those Victorian umbrella stands made from the foot of an elephant might appear. Funnily enough, while I may never have seen a leather-effect dildo before, I have seen penises in real life which I would describe as having had a leathery-looking head, but that’s perhaps a story for another time. The silicone itself is a little on the firm side but there’s still a reasonable amount of give in the surface when you squeeze it, and you can gently bend the shaft back and forth a little way without too much effort considering its size.

The construction quality of the dildo is honestly impeccable and there isn’t a single mould line in sight, nor flaw. The level of detail around the skull is quite extraordinary, the way it captures the bone plates, the eye sockets, ridges over the brow, the bridge of the nose, and even every grinning tooth is picked out. It’s really worth taking the time to look at it because you can tell that someone’s consulted an anatomy book during the design process, and not merely constructed it from imagination. It’s a piece of sculpture of artistic calibre. In contrast to the skull the penis section is much more simplistic; it begins with a nice rounded head which is relatively short and streamlined with the shaft, rather than flaring out with a pronounced corona. Apart from the leather-effect texture the only real detail on the head is a long urethral groove which extends down it and meets with the frenulum. Directly below the glans is a subtle indicator of a retracted foreskin which further helps to streamline the head, and this blends in seamlessly with the rest of the shaft. The shaft itself is decorated with a couple of long veins running vertically, and which branch out laterally in several places. The veins are fairly pronounced, but the surface of them is smooth and rounded, so far less extreme than the texture of the Super 7″. Beneath the dildo is a broad flat base which measures 6″ x 3″, and at one end is a hole intended to be used in conjunction with a bright yellow suction cup that’s sold separately, so that’s always a handy option to have. Keep Burning were kind enough to throw in a suction cup with my parcel so I’ll talk a little more about it later.

When it comes to using the Cock Skull this really is a dildo that’s only for advanced users. You’ve probably gathered that already from reading the measurements, but it still bears repeating. If you visit the Keep Burning website then you’ll see a video on the product page of Sam Barclay from UK HotJocks using the dildo, and as hot as that sight is don’t be fooled by how easy he makes it look, because it’s really not a dildo for beginners. Before you even think about inserting the dildo you’re going to want a warm up toy, and this is because the tip of the dildo itself is quite blunt. I opted for my trusty Super Big End by Doc Johnson; it has a nice conical shape to open you up slowly, and it’s also slightly larger than the first half of the Cock Skull  so when you do switch over you won’t instantly be stretched to the maximum and this will make things far more comfortable.

Provided that you’re sufficiently warmed up the head of the Cock Skull will go in like a charm and without any resistance. As the tip is so streamlined you don’t get any sort of a bump or a pop like you might from a dildo with a more prominent head, and instead you just begin to feel it steadily filling you up. It is by far one of the most filling dildos that I’ve used, and you really feel every single inch of it. Because the silicone is so firm it really makes its presence known, which is in contrast to something like a dual-density dildo where the squishiness of the surface lessens the impact of the size. If you really love big toys and that sensation of their solidness inside you, along with the ample stretch they place on your sphincter, then you’ll adore this dildo.

Eventually once you’ve got dildo in as far as you’re comfortable with you’ll want to start thrusting with it. I suggest that the best position to use it in is to squat over it and ride it. It’s not impossible to hold onto the skull and thrust manually with it, but it is a little on the heavy side so you may find your arms tiring quickly. The broadness of the base and the low centre of gravity make the Cock Skull ideally suited to riding, and wherever you place it it’s going to stay there without toppling over. Once you do start thrusting you’ll notice that there’s a little bit of drag coming from the leather texture on the dildo, so it’s worth making sure that you’re using plenty of lube, and something quite thick at that. Provided that you’re sufficiently relaxed the texture can provide a nice additional sense of stimulation to your sphincter as the dildo glides easily in and out, which is why I suggested earlier using a plug beforehand that’s slightly thicker than the dildo. If you’re stretched to your limit then the texture, subtle as it is, may seem too intense at first, and you’ll need to pause until you relax more before you continue thrusting, so as to lessen any friction. I wouldn’t say that I was really aware of the presence of the veins during use, so I’d probably class them more as decorative.

One place where the dildo really does excel is in terms of prostate stimulation; when you’re thrusting back and forth with a good rhythm the sheer size of it means that every stroke brushes firmly up against the prostate. It’s impossible to avoid stimulating the prostate, so this is what’s going to bring you back to this dildo time and time again. It fills you up, stretches you out, and rubs the prostate, all three of the most pleasurable aspects of anal play.

As I mentioned earlier there is the option of using a suction cup with the toy, and in my mind this is a fantastic thing. The suction cup comes in this wonderful bright neon yellow which contrasts beautifully against the jet black of the dildo, like the colours of a wasp. The suction cup is also made of silicone and easily locks into place below the dildo. It stays in place very firmly and takes quite a lot of tugging to get back out again, but without needing a ridiculous amount of force, so it strikes a good balance between being secure and user-friendly. The suction cup works against most flat surfaces and holds in place very well. I imagine that it’s intended more for use on horizontal surfaces, but I stuck the Cock Skull to the tiles on my bathroom wall and everything stayed in place perfectly; the dildo didn’t detach from the cup, and the cup didn’t detach from the wall, so it can hold an impressive amount of weight. Naturally in this position the dildo does droop under its weight, with its tip angled diagonally downwards, making it somewhat difficult to use, but still possible for anyone who’s determined. On the floor it’s another matter and you get two key benefits: the suction cup adds a little extra height, so when you’re squatting over it you don’t have to squat quite so low which increases comfort. The other factor is that the suction cup acts like a joint between the dildo and the floor, so when you’re down there and using it you can lean in any direction and the dildo will follow you, all the while staying anchored to the floor. The suction cup bends about giving you much more freedom of movement, and again this increases the comfort of the ride, allowing you to experiment with more positions. I’d definitely suggest buying a suction cup if you’re going to get one of these.

The packaging for both the dildo and the suction cup is quite simplistic; they come vacuum packed and heat sealed inside shrink wrap which bears the Keep Burning branding and a notice which states “warranty void if packaging has been opened.” It also has a small hologram stuck to the base which bears a CE mark and the words “Council of European Adult Products Manufacturers.” This isn’t an organisation that I’ve heard of before, but all the same it does seem reassuring. I quite like the packaging because it’s everything that you need really; the plastic keeps it away from dust and acts as a hygiene seal, it’s minimal so you don’t have a huge box to throw away, and it allows you to see and judge the size of the product without opening it, so provided you heed the words on the plastic you can return it if you accidentally went too large.

Overall I have to say that I do adore the Cock Skull  and it’s easily one of my favourite pieces now. I really can’t get over how fantastic the design is; it’s so unique and it just looks amazing. It really is a big toy only for people who can handle it, but it’s made from high quality materials, to an exceptional standard, and it feels great too. I really would recommend this toy, and indeed this whole brand, to people. I’m always excited to find a new company that’s doing great things, and Keep Burning definitely fits that bill. Many thanks to them for sending me one of their wonderful toys.
You can buy the Cock Skull dildo from my friends at MEO who ship worldwide.

Mojo Spades Small

Last month when Sam from Simply Pleasure sent me the Jimmyjane Hello Touch to review she was kind enough to throw in a couple of samples from the Mojo range of toys. I must confess that Mojo isn’t a brand that I’ve heard of before – nor do I know from where it originates, though its products bear a “Made in China” mark on the packaging – but as always I’m keen to try out something new. 
The two items which I received were the Ion Strength Cock Ring – which I may review at a later date – along with one of the Spades butt plugs. The plugs come in two sizes, a Large and a Small, and I happened to get the Small. You can check out the review below.

The Mojo Spades Small is indeed a rather diminutive butt plug, with its shape reminding me somewhat of a pinecone in its early stages of life. It measures in at just 4″ long, with 3 1/2″ insertable, and around the widest point the circumference measures 4 1/4″ (around about 1 1/4″ diameter).
The plug is manufactured out of silicone and is entirely odourless, tasteless, and completely body-safe. It’s a reasonably firm silicone with a slightly matte finish, but the size of the plug means that it’s easy to compress and bend about. The quality of construction seems good on the whole; there is a mould line running along the length but it’s very subtle and can hardly be felt. Other than that there are no visible defects or flaws to mention. One thing which is slightly strange about the build of the plug is that it doesn’t feel completely solid. When you attempt to bend it or squeeze it it just doesn’t behave quite right, almost as though the centre is hollow and encloses a void of trapped air. This theory gains a little more credence from the fact that the plug does seem a little lightweight for its size. I was going to say that unfortunately there’s really no way to tell without cutting it in half, but then whilst roughly playing around with it I discovered a less destructive way to confirm my suspicions. If you push firmly enough on the base then the neck-like section can be forced up and into the bulb of the plug, something which physically could not happen if the plug was solid all the way through, so it definitely is hollow, and not a feature that I’ve never encountered in a toy before. Despite being hollow the walls of the plug seem thick enough to make it quite a sturdy piece, so there’s no immediate cause for concern.

The shape of the Spades plug is pretty much your standard sort of conical butt plug design. It has quite a pointed tip and the whole plug is rather elongated, giving a gentle taper all the way down to the widest point. Beyond the thickest section the plug begins to narrow again and has a nicely-rounded underside which meets with the base of the plug. There is almost a neck between the bulb and the base, but it seems slightly foolish to refer to it as such as at best it’s no more than 1/4″ long. Unusually for a butt plug the base is designed as a suction cup and is very thin and floppy, additionally it’s barely wider than the rest of the plug at only 1 3/8″ in diameter. I have to say right now that it’s not the most reassuring design in the world, and I’ll go over some of the safety concerns in a little bit. The only other thing to mention about the design of the plug is a slight piece of detail on the bulb, which appears in the form of a raised ring which wraps around it at an angle. It’s hard to describe so it’s better to look at the picture to get an idea, but suffice it to say that this detail doesn’t have a great impact.

The plug is nice and easy to insert, and you wouldn’t really expect otherwise given the size and shape of it. The tapered tip glides easily through the sphincter, and shouldn’t pose much of a challenge to even the tightest of beginners. Once you get past the widest point the Spades does that classic butt plug thing of being sucked in the rest of the way, and here’s where we start to have a problem. Because there’s really no neck on the plug the sphincter doesn’t have an adequate place to come to rest once it’s inserted; you need at least an inch of neck for this to work properly, not 1/4″, so instead the muscle rests half on the underside of the bulb and half along the base. With the muscle right up against the base like that you’ll find the base being really drawn up into the body, and the surface of it sits completely flush with the surrounding skin. The real issue here is that frankly the base isn’t fit for purpose; it’s so thin, so floppy, and so narrow, that one small amount of pressure on it and it’s just going to fold up and be sucked into the body entirely. Simply put it’s not even remotely anal-safe, and potentially even dangerous. If you’re a beginner then possibly the stiffness of the muscle will work in your favour, but heaven forbid you’re feeling relaxed back there, because at times I could sense that I was mere moments away from losing it for good.

I’m sure that somebody reading this is thinking “It has a suction cup, doesn’t it? Surely if you stick it to something then that’ll stop you from losing it?” Well that is a good point, but it’s also flawed. Firstly we need to come back to the design of the plug. We’ve established that the plug has no neck, and that the base sits flush with the anus, so we have to think about what happens when you sit down. When you’re seated your anus typically doesn’t touch the surface that you’re sitting on, because the muscle and bone of the buttocks protrudes and gets in the way. If you have the plug stuck to a surface then you’re never going to be able to get close enough to the surface to have the plug fully inserted, so it doesn’t really work. The other issue of course is what you’d even do in that situation were it possible. Most people like to wear a plug during sex or whilst walking about, and not just sat down somewhere where a plug happens to be stuck for a little bit. On the subject of the suction cup, it does do an adequate job of affixing itself to most surfaces and holding firmly in place, so I can’t fault it in this regard.

Putting aside the problems with the base momentarily, the plug does feel comfortable when worn, though obviously it’s not especially filling. You can walk around with it in and it feels fine, and that base isn’t detectable under clothing, nor does it dig in or irritate the flesh. The plug doesn’t feel overly secure for the most part, just down to the lack of neck, as it means the sphincter never closes completely and the underside of the bulb is only ever a short way from starting to make its way back out. You’re caught between trying to clench the sphincter sufficiently so as as to hold the plug in place, but not so much as to accidentally pull the plug too far into the body.

On the whole I’m just not impressed and I’d probably suggest that people avoid this plug. It’s made from a good material, and it is inexpensive, but that doesn’t make up for the dangerous base, the pointless nature of the suction cup, and the fact that it’s hollow in the centre. It’s a good size for beginners, but if I were a beginner and I had an accident with this plug then it would have sent me into a real panic, so it’s not worth the risk. There are plenty of good, small, silicone plugs out there if that’s what you’re looking for – ones which are safe. Safety always needs to be paramount with anal play, so bear that in mind and put your money towards something you can have confidence in.

The Mojo Spades Small is available from Simply Pleasure.