Je Joue Classic Bullet Vibe

Now that Autumn seems firmly upon us, I hope everyone had a great Summer and made the most of whatever good weather there was. This month Je Joue have launched a trio of exciting new bullet vibes, and they reached out to me to see if I’d like to review one. I’m always keen to support companies that hail from right here in the land of tea and crumpets, so naturally I said yes, and you can catch the review below!

Je Joue has been around since 2008, and despite them being a British company this is actually my first time reviewing one of their products, so it’s one of those rare reviews where I start off with no preconceptions.
Their new range of bullets consists of the Classic, the G-Spot, and the Rabbit, and their names more or less tell you what you need to know about them. I opted for the Classic as it seemed the most appropriate for my uses. The G-Spot has a similar design, but a little longer and with an angled tip for insertion, but not really anal-safe, while the Rabbit has two little “ears” at the top, similar to a design I’ve enjoyed in the Jimmy Jane Form 2.
Probably the first thing worth noting about the Classic is that it’s a little bigger than your typical bullet vibes, such as the RO-80mm from Rocks Off, or the We-Vibe Tango, so it’s not going to be fitting inside the bullet holes of any of your toys. This does limit its applications somewhat, but if you find those vibes a little fiddly in your hands then then added size here could help.
The basic design of the Classic is pretty much what you’d expect from a bullet, although it does slightly remind me of a half-smoked cigar, with its extra girth and contrasting flat and tapered ends. One nice feature about the Classic is that the hard plastic body is covered with a plush velvety silicone with a matte finish. The entire tapered end appears to be made from this silicone, with the plastic body not extending into it, which gives a nice squishy tip to it. At the very end of the vibe a silicone flap conceals a USB charging port, and when it’s in place the bullet is completely waterproof. 
The Classic has five speeds and seven different patterns to choose from, and these are selected with three buttons on the side of the bullet, positioned near to the base. Holding the (+) button turns on the bullet, and each subsequent press increases the power, while pressing the (-) decreases the power, and holding it turns the bullet off again. A button marked (S) is used to cycle through the patterns. 
At its lowest setting the Classic feels quite rumbly, and when you press it against the body you can feel the vibrations penetrating deeply. As you start to increase the power, however, the story changes. As the strength of the vibrations becomes more intense, they also become more buzzy, and that deep penetrating vibration becomes a shallow surface sensation. It’s definitely a powerful vibrator, it’s just not powerful in the way that I’d like it. As someone who enjoys using vibrators on the penis, I find a deep rumbly vibration that penetrates into the tissue much more satisfying than vibrations which only tickle the surface skin, so this did dash my hopes a little. 
The patterns consist of a few different sequences of pulses going at various speeds, combined with a couple where the intensity of the vibrations gradually ramps up and down, and these are always fun to play around with. I’d call these the tried and tested vibration patterns, as it seems to be the ones you encounter most often, with nothing too out of the ordinary.
In all of its modes the Classic remains pretty quiet, which is always a bonus. It’s not going to draw the attention of anyone on the other side of a door or thin partition wall, so you can use it quite discreetly.
In terms of use the Classic is a good little vibrator, and very enjoyable, despite not being as rumbly as I’d like. The soft matte silicone felt very comfortable against the skin, and glided smoothly against it, allowing for a manual stimulation of the frenulum in conjunction with the vibrations. I found that this technique worked well with the bullet on constant at the lowest power setting, and felt quite pleasurable, but it also felt satisfying to hold the bullet stationary and experiment with the patterns at a higher intensity level, as this produced a broader spectrum of sensations. As the power ramps up with each pulse it goes through the full range of that low rumble through to the strong buzz, so you get a little taste of everything, and that uniqueness certainly helps to make up for its other shortcomings. Although at times I did find myself craving more of that rumbly power that I get from some of my other vibrators, I had no trouble climaxing with the Je Joue Classic, it just felt a little more drawn out.
The big question for this review, really, is whether or not I’d recommend this bullet, and for that I have to bring out the We-Vibe Tango, because the Tango has become the benchmark against which I judge all bullets. In a market that’s saturated with a wide array of different vibrators, it’s imperative to compare and contrast what you’re getting at any given price point. The Je Joue Classic retails for around £45 – £50, depending on where you’re shopping, which puts it in direct competition with the Tango, which is available for £50 – £55, and this I feel is where the problem lies. By itself the Classic is a good enough vibrator, it’s waterproof, it’s rechargeable, it offers a selection of different patterns, but at the end of the day it’s no Tango. It simply lacks that sheer deep rumbling power that the Tango puts out, and for the sake of £5 the Tango would be the one you’d want to go for every time. As much as I’d like to tell you to go out and support a British brand, if you’re looking to squeeze out every last bang for your buck, then I’m afraid this isn’t the bullet.
Many thanks to Je Joue for sending me the Classic to review. It’s available from SheVibe.

Pulse III Solo

Happy New Year to all my lovely readers, and what better way to kick off 2017 than with a brand new review for everybody’s favourite ‘guybrator’ manufacturer, and XBIZ Award-winning Boutique Pleasure Products Company of the Year, Hot Octopuss!

Sticking to what seems to be their two-year development cycle, the guys at Hot Octopuss have just launched the third iteration of their much acclaimed Pulse, and they’ve kindly sent over a Pulse III Solo for me to test out. So, without any further ado…

The original Pulse first launched back in 2013, as a challenger to then market leader in male vibrators, the Cobre Libre by Fun Factory, and it quickly became one of my favourite toys. The following year, reinforcing that competition drives innovation, we were treated to Fun Factory’s answer in the form of the revamped Cobra Libre II, and then only months later Hot Octopuss returned to us with their line up of new Pulse II models. I remarked back then that 2015 was a good year to own a penis, and indeed it was, but two years down the line the question is what new heights are Hot Octopuss about to take us to with the Pulse III? I know I’m excited to find out.

The Pulse III builds directly on the advancements of its immediate predecessor, the Pulse II, and represents a straight evolution of the original concept, though this time the change is far less of a leap than from the Pulse to the Pulse II.

The biggest shake up in the previous generation was that it introduced separate “Solo” and “Duo” models aimed at slightly different markets, and the Pulse III maintains this distinction. The original Pulse offered multifunctionality aimed at couples play, while still primarily being a toy for the man, and it did this by offering a secondary point of vibration which could stimulate a female partner during use. The Duo models represent the point of continuity with this concept and are most consistent with the original design, while the Solo units have dispensed with this aspect altogether, instead moving towards a focus solely on individual pleasure.

Today I’m going to be once again looking at the Solo version of the latest Pulse, which has the welcome advantage of being slightly less expensive than the Duo. I’m pleased that they’re maintained this divergence in the design, because who wants to be paying for a feature they won’t be using?

So what exactly is the Pulse III Solo? I’ve been speaking so far with the assumption that everyone has read one of my earlier reviews and has a general understanding of the nature of these products, but for the benefit of those coming to this afresh. The Pulse is a vibrating male masturbatory aid, or a ‘Guybrator’ to use the term they’ve coined, and it’s one of the very very few vibrators aimed specifically at men. It differs from nearly all other male masturbators on the market, such as your Fleshjacks and Tengas, because it takes the conventional thinking about how men get off and turns it on its head. Most male sex toys aim to replicate the natural sexual experience as closely as possible, that is they involve the penis being thrust inside something in order to stimulate it to the point of orgasm. The Pulse on the other hand requires absolutely no motion on the part of the user, and brings him to climax via the use of powerful vibrations targeted directly at the most sensitive part of the penis. For any man who’s experienced the joys of vibrator use before then it probably doesn’t seem that revolutionary, but within the realm of male sex toys it really is.

The design of the Pulse III closely follows on from the Pulse II, employing the same shape and the same materials, and with no notable difference in the size. Unfortunately that does mean that it maintains Pulse II’s smaller opening into which you place your penis, compared to the original model, which is something I’ll come back to. The central channel is where the “Pulse Plate” lies, and this is the piece of technology which produces the vibrations, or to be more accurate, the oscillations. It’s strategically located to make contact with the sensitive underside of the penis, where the nerve-rich frenulum is located. The channel isn’t entirely enclosed, and is flanked by two flexible silicone “wings” which adapt to accommodate the size of penis placed between them. It’s quite a stylish toy on the whole, and it’s well made from quality body-safe materials such as silicone and ABS plastic.
To use the Pulse III you first begin by inserting your penis into the channel, and what’s quite beautiful about the whole way the product is engineered is that doesn’t really matter what state your penis is in, be it hard or soft, circumcised or intact, with the foreskin retracted or not. It’s functional in all situations, which is beneficial to anyone who might suffer from erectile dysfunction or a tight foreskin, for example, which limits their ability to use other toys, or be intimate with a partner. One thing that does carry over from the Pulse II is that the channel is still on the smaller side, and that bodes less well for more endowed men, specifically men with more girth, or in this case a wider penis. The flexible silicone wings feel noticeably snug around the penis, and they have the same problem as in the first two models, whereby they’re only flexible in their top half. I’m going to briefly quote myself as explanation. 

One thing I did notice though is that the “wings” are flexible mainly at the top half, and not towards the bottom, so while the top section can become almost infinitely wider the bottom of the channel always retains the same semi-circular shape. Where this could cause an issue is that most penises don’t have a completely circular cross-section and are wider from left to right than from top to bottom, so depending on the size and shape of the penis you may find that once inserted to the fullest extent the shaft may hover above the Pulse Plate without actually making direct contact. This probably won’t be an issue for most people, but if your penis is very wide in one direction, and not so much in the other, then it’s worth bearing in mind.

Like many I happen to have a penis which is wider in one axis than the other, and the narrower channel does exacerbate the issue of flexibility with the wings. Instead of my penis lying completely level and flat along the channel, the pressure from the wings causes it to twist to try to conform with the narrow space, breaking optimal alignment with the Pulse Plate. The only way to really deal with this is to manually push the head of my penis down into the Pulse Plate and hold it in place, which works but which isn’t ideal if you were going for a hands-free experience. From my experience this size of channel is less than optimal, but again perhaps there’s some evidence which shows it’s more suited to the penis size of a greater number of people, and it’s not enough to be a deal-breaker either way. 

To turn the Pulse III on you hold down the button on the left hand side and it jumps into a constant vibration mode at its lowest intensity. It’s a very powerful deep rumbly vibration, and from here you can either adjust the strength of the intensity using the  + and – buttons on the right hand side of the Pulse, or as with the Pulse II you can cycle through 5 different vibration patterns by pressing the power button. There’s also a brand new “Turbo Function” whereby you can skip directly to the most powerful vibration setting. The strength of the vibrations is truly impressive; they penetrate deep into the shaft and can be felt all the way down to the pubic bone, and they even have the effect of making the penis appear blurry at times because the whole organ itself begins to vibrate. This “total vibration” is one of the most unique features of the Pulse III, because although the vibrations are being applied directly at the frenulum, they don’t simply feel localised here, but can be felt all over. Feeling every inch of your penis vibrating is fascinating, and entirely new, not to mention intensely pleasurable. It’s miles away from conventional masturbation, and it’s this whole new world of sensation which makes it all the more interesting. What really makes it special though is the patterns; the ability to experience a good rhythm of vibrations takes the experience to another level, and you have a choice of slow or faster, as well as a couple of more elaborate patterns. Because the vibrations from the Pulse are so strong it does run the risk of overwhelming you at times – especially as the Pulse III is now 25% more powerful – so if you want a long drawn out session of pleasure, then you have to be careful that it doesn’t push you over the edge too soon. If you do manage to get it just right, and have an extended period of foreplay with the toy, then the orgasm that it rewards you with is quite explosive at the end, and definitely worth it. 

The one major drawback of the toy is the noise. It’s not a subtle device at all, and that could be problematic for a lot of people. It sounds like a little lawnmower engine chugging away, and is liable to rouse suspicion if you live in close quarters with others. I know I’d have trouble relaxing if I was using it and I knew there was someone on the other side of a thin partition wall. The noise has been an ongoing issue with the Pulse since the very start, and frankly it’s a little disappointing that it’s not something they’ve been able to address. It was easy to overlook in the very first model, less so in the Pulse II, but by the third generation it’s hard to excuse.

Another point I do want to raise about the Pulse III is regarding the buttons. They’re smaller than on the original Pulse, and much stiffer too, which can make them awkward to push. The upside is that they’re less likely to go off in your luggage, but they can be a struggle to operate while your penis is in the device, and this goes doubly if your penis doesn’t quite fit in it properly and you’re already using one hand to secure it in the right position. I mostly raise this with the thought of people with dexterity issues, however, because for everything the Pulse does to aid those who struggle sexually the buttons could trip them up.

The Pulse III is a fully rechargeable toy and it comes with a USB cable which now clips onto a magnetic charging port at the rear. This is a really convenient feature and a welcome upgrade, and the other advantage is that it’s 100% waterproof, which makes it far easier to clean afterwards. 
I have to say that on the whole the Pulse III feels like a huge leap forward compared to the original Pulse, but only a relatively minor step up from the Pulse II, and therein lies the dilemma. I’m impressed by how the guys at Hot Octopuss keep on working to improve their device, perfecting it a little more each time, but you have to wonder who it’s aimed at. If you don’t already have a Pulse, then I wholeheartedly recommend that you buy the Pulse III. If you own an Original Pulse, then the Pulse III is well worth the upgrade. If you have the Pulse II, however, I honestly can’t say that there’s enough there to justify buying a new one. The Pulse III is more like a Pulse 2.5 in this regard, it tinkers around the edges, but there’s nothing added which you absolutely need to have. It’s not like a smartphone where there’s a genuine incentive to make the transition every time.

The Pulse III is once again a more polished device, and I love the strong vibrations and exciting patterns it offers. I definitely think that every guy should try one. My only caveat would still be to guys with a thicker (wider) penis, because if the original Pulse or Pulse II felt too snug for you then the Pulse III will only maintain that frustration. 

Thanks to Hot Octopuss for providing me with the Pulse III Solo to review, and you can buy it directly from them, as well as any of the fine retailers I have links to on my blog, Including SheVibe, Lovehoney UK, Bondara, and Lovehoney U.S.

Lelo Loki Wave Prostate Massager

A mere month ago Lelo released a trio of exciting new prostate massagers which I reviewed here on this very blog, and now today they’ve gone and announced one more to add to the mix.

Clearly they work fast over at Lelo, and I was lucky enough to receive one to review, so let’s go ahead and see what I made of the Loki Wave!

The Loki Wave is a toy which greets you with all the familiarity of an old friend – albeit in this instance a friend you met only last month. Everything from the name to the design makes no attempt to disguise that the Wave builds directly on where the original Loki left off, and you can see it in every crest and contour. It takes that same lovely bulbous shape of the Loki, and adds on a perineum arm just like the one found on the Hugo, but you might ask yourself why the need for this. Surely they could have included this in the design already? Well that’s not the only trick behind the Loki Wave, because it combines these features with the addition of motion, real physical motion, the likes of which is extremely rare to find in a prostate massager.

Those of you with keen eyes and a comprehensive amount of Lelo product knowledge may have noticed that, much in the same way as the Loki looked an awful lot like the Lelo Mona, the Loki Wave has an uncanny resemblance to the Mona Wave, and this does seem to be a trend of Lelo upcyling their most popular G-spot vibrators into prostate massagers. Personally I’m all in favour of this and think it makes sound business sense. I’ve long heard my female reviewer friends rave about the Mona 2 and Mona Wave, and honestly if someone had sent me one I’d have used it in a flash, but it’s nice now to have specifically anal-safe versions for guys to try.

The Loki Wave has fundamentally the same dimensions as the original Loki, and in total you’re looking at 8″ inches from end to end, with 4″ of insertable shaft. That may not sure like a lot, but I’m always reminding people that the prostate is actually quite shallow and easy to reach, so 4″ is more than enough to get there. In terms of girth comes in at 4 5/8″ around the widest point, which could prove a little too much for complete anal novices, but a good size for everyone else.
The construction of the Loki Wave varies slightly from the original Loki, but only with respect to the handle section. Internally the whole toy is made from a firm ABS plastic which is then in turn covered by a thin layer of soft velvety silicone. Whereas on the original Loki the silicone covered only the insertable section and the handle was plastic, on the Wave the handle is now too covered in silicone, though this section retains the same white colouring There are two colour options available for the rest of the silicone, Federal Blue or Obsidian Black. I happen to have the black one again, but I included an example of the blue at the top as I think it looks a bit nicer. The amount of silicone on the Loki / Wave isn’t all that thick, but you can feel a little give when you squeeze it, so it does provide a touch of cushioning.
When it does come to inserting the Loki Wave it’s a nice smooth affair. The size clearly makes it less beginner-friendly than the Hugo or the Billy, but the gentle taper helps to ease that bulbous shaft into the body, and the smooth plush silicone feels lovely against the skin. Inside the body the Wave feels pleasantly filling; it’s not the biggest toy in the world but you can really feel its presence, especially with the way that it angles itself into the prostate and applies a gentle pressure. Outside the body the secondary arm rests against the perineum and too creates pressure at this point.
With the toy in position it stays quite happily in place meaning there’s no need to keep holding onto it if you don’t wish. The handle protrudes from the body enough that it’s easy to grab onto to operate, and with a little flexibility you can see the buttons too. Most of the time you’re going to be operating the buttons blind, and due to the handle changes this is a little different now to with the Loki. There are 5 buttons in all, with a central on/off and the other 4 laid out around it like the points of a compass. West and East are + & – which control the vibration intensity, while North and South cycle up and down through the different modes. The central button is identifiable as it’s denoted by a depression in the handle, whereas the others have only faint markings embossed in the silicone, so it’s usually necessary to use the power button to first orient your thumb, before then moving to press a particular button.

In total there are 10 different modes to choose from, and they all control a number of different variables. You can have the Wave Motion active or not, you can have the internal motor active or not, you can have the motor in the perineum arm active or not, and you can either be in constant vibration mode or experiencing a pattern. It’s a really great selection, but it’s also quite a lot to be thinking about as you’re cycling through them using only up and down arrows, trying to find just the one you want. Luckily the toy does remember your last setting when you turn it off, so if you have a favourite then it’s easy to stick with.

As with in the Loki the vibrations are impressively strong, even on the lower settings, and you can really feel them penetrating into the prostate. In terms on what the vibrations themselves are like on a buzzy to rumbly scale, they’re more midway between the two, leaning more towards the rumbly side. Personally I would have preferred a little more of a deeper rumbly vibration than what you get, but I always say that, and it’s still a really pleasing sensation that it delivers, especially when coupled with the intensity of the power settings.

The real star of the show here though is the Wave Motion, because if you only wanted vibrations then you’d just buy a Loki. The motion technology is what takes the Loki Wave to a whole other level. When it’s activated the main bulb of the device moves towards the perineum arm and then back again, like a robotic hand making a squeezing motion. Inside the body it has the effect of gently applying pressure repeatedly to the prostate, just as though you were attempting to massage it with a manual toy. It’s actually quite an amazing effect, especially in conjunction with the strong vibrations. It’s honestly like nothing I’ve felt throughout hundreds of reviews. One good feature about the presence of the perineum arm is that it does provide leverage while the toy is in motion, and ensures that it’s actually the internal portion that’s moving, and not just the handle wagging around outside the body. I make this point because it’s not the first time I’ve tried a prostate massager with motion, if you’ll recall the Nexus Revo 2. In that case it employed a completely different rotary motion, but most of the time the part that moved was the base outside the body, and not the internal arm. With the Loki Wave it’s not strictly necessary to hold the handle during use in order to feel the effect of the motion, but it can alter the sensations slightly if you choose to.

What’s actually nice about the Wave Motion is that you don’t have to do a thing with the toy, it’s the ultimate lazy man’s pleasure. With the Loki I’d often find myself wanting to thrust a little with it to get that extra touch of manual stimulation, but now that’s completely taken care of. You just select your favourite pattern and vibration strength, then lie back and let it go to town. The whole combination of effects just feels incredible, from the deep vibrations simultaneously penetrating the perineum and prostate, to that methodic back and forth motion, prodding and squeezing your prostate, like it was a piece of dough being kneaded by a strong-armed Swedish baker. It’s one of those toys that makes you think again of the mythical prostate orgasm, and wonder once more if you might be able to reach it. If you just let it do its thing then it does seem possible, and feels great just like this, but coupled with regular masturbation you’re guaranteed one of the best orgasms of your life.

Like the other Lelo prostate massagers the Loki Wave is rechargeable, has a lockable keypad for use when travelling, and comes with a cloth storage pouch. It is a tad more noisy than the Loki due to a slight whirring from the Wave Motion, but with a closed door it’s doubtful anyone would hear it. It comes with a USB charging cable rather than a wall plug, and again it’s 100% waterproof, giving you the option of safely using it in the bath or shower.

So as we reach the point of the review where I feel that it’s time to wrap up, I only have one thing to say; buy one. Lelo have really impressed me once again with this one, and after the Loki I wasn’t sure where they could go next. The introduction of Wave Motion just takes a prostate massager beyond expectations, and I feel as though I’m almost spoiled for any other toy now. It thoroughly deserves my recommendation, and if you have a prostate then you owe it to yourself to try it.
Thanks to Lelo for sending me one to review and it’s available to buy directly from Lelo, and the following places around the world:
North America: Lovehoney USA, Shevibe

Lelo Hugo and Bruno Prostate Massagers

The other week I looked at the first of Lelo‘s three new vibrating prostate massagers for men, the Loki, and today I’m going to be looking at the other two, the Hugo and the Bruno.
The Hugo and the Bruno are essentially the same product, except that the Hugo comes with the addition of a wireless remote, which is why I’ve chosen to cover both in one review. Everything I say about the Hugo can be applied to the Bruno, up until the section where I cover the functions of the remote itself, so hopefully this will be a more helpful way of looking at it.

The Hugo is a twin-motor, handsfree, wearable vibrating prostate massager and perineum stimulator, and by damn I’ve been looking for a good one of these for a long time. Over the years I’ve tried products from Rocks Off, Nexus, Jopen, and even Fun Factory, and they’ve all failed to cut the mustard in some way. Back at the end of last year, however, there did come a light at the end of the tunnel, and that was in the form of the L’Amourose Rosa – a unisex toy which performed excellently in this regard – and for this reason it’s the only product which I see fit to compare the Hugo to in this review. 
The Hugo is a fairly compact toy on the whole, especially when compared to the Rosa. In terms of length and girth the dimensions of the Rosa are akin to that of the Loki, whereas the Hugo has a maximum girth of just 4″ around the widest point, and an insertable length of 3 1/2″. The narrowest part of the Hugo is the 2 1/4″ circumference neck which sits just below the bulb, and this joins onto a 1 5/8″ wide base which balances safety with comfort. Extending forwards from the base is a 2 3/4″ long secondary arm which is designed to rest against the user’s perineum.
The shape of the Hugo is rather traditional for this type of toy, but that’s because there aren’t a lot of configurations you can go for when aiming for this type of stimulation. There are two “arms” on the device, one larger and one smaller, which together almost remind me of an opened lobster’s claw, ready to grab something. The larger arm is shaped like a smaller version of the Loki, with a gentle curve, nice bulbous portion towards the end, and a completely smooth surface throughout. This design is similarly mirrored on the smaller arm. 
The construction of the Hugo features the inclusion of two separate motors, each one being housed in the end of one of the arms. The core of the Hugo is made from a very firm ABS plastic, which in turn is covered entirely in a thin layer of soft velvety silicone, and this comes available in a choice of Obsidian Black, Ocean Blue, or a vibrant fuchsia colour. To my touch the thickness of silicone on the Hugo feels slightly less than that on the Loki, and the Rosa too, but there’s enough to provide a degree of cushioning still. The underside of the toy features the charging port, located at the heel next to a shiny faux-metal plate bearing the name “Lelo” embossed, and at the other end the recessed power button. The body of the toy is largely solid throughout, which makes a difference from the Rosa where the neck between the insertable bulb and the base is very flexible. Instead on the Hugo there’s a bit of flexibility built into the secondary arm, allowing for some adjustments depending on the user’s body. 
Inserting the toy is nice and easy to do with a touch of lube and no warm up required. It’s much more beginner-friendly than the larger Loki, and indeed the Rosa too. You don’t get that sense of fullness like you would from a larger toy, but you certainly get immediate feedback from that pincer-like arm configuration squeezing you inside and out. The shape of the internal arm puts a pleasant amount of pressure right bang on the prostate, exactly where it should be, providing instant stimulation. Likewise the secondary arm applies external pressure to the perineum, and because it’s that bit longer than the arm on most similarly-designed toys it actually hits the right spot, the spot that you’d instinctively go to touch if manually massaging your own perineum. The actual size of the toy becomes almost irrelevant, because you don’t think of how full it makes you feel, let alone have a chance to notice that it may be lacking in any way. That firm constant pressure on the prostate entirely dominates your sensory perception, and a lot of what’s enjoyable about larger toys anyway is that more fullness = more pressure on the prostate. It’s essentially a win-win when it comes it delivering a lot of sensation without needing to put in a lot of effort. 
Once the Hugo is in it stays in very happily thanks to the shape of the design and the narrow neck. This means you can do pretty much anything you can think of while wearing it, whether it be sex with a partner, some solo fun, or even giving your kitchen three coats of paint like me. It’s really not going to go anywhere, and thanks to the fairly unobtrusive base which slots comfortably between the buttocks you can even comfortably sit down whilst wearing it – provided it’s on a padded surface.
The vibrating function of the Hugo is operated by one single button located just beneath the bulb of the perineum arm, where it’s very easy to access and operate. Pressing the button twice will activate the Hugo and it starts up in constant vibration mode at full power. Both motors in the Hugo operate in unison, and this applies to all the patterns that are included, so whatever vibrations you’re feeling internally you’ll also be feeling externally. This is quite different to on the Rosa, which alternated between firing each motor, so the patterns were staggered, and personally I prefer the Lelo approach. Just like with the Loki the Hugo has 6 vibration patterns in total: constant vibration, steady pulses, rapid pulses, repeated increase in intensity from low to high, gentle increase from low to high and back down again, and lastly random mode which produces pulses with no set interval. Each time you press the button on the base it switches the unit to the next pattern, and once you reach the final pattern it loops back to the start again. To turn the unit off once you’re done the button must be held down for a couple of seconds. One minor drawback to the single-button design is that you can’t adjust the strength of vibrations from the unit itself. With the Hugo the separate remote must be used to decrease the vibration strength, and with the Bruno the power cannot be adjusted at all. I only classify this as a minor issue because as someone who loves strong vibrations I’m quite content to use it on full power all the time, and even with the remote I only played around with reducing the power for the sake of the review and haven’t felt the need to do it since. It all depends on the individual really; if you’re someone who perhaps isn’t quite so confident with this type of toy, and fears being overwhelmed by the vibrations, then the Hugo is probably more fitting for you than the Bruno due to the added control it offers. 
The vibrations of the Hugo are wonderfully strong and also quite rumbly. Despite its smaller size the vibrations of the Hugo felt more intense to me than those of the Loki, but I have a suspicion that this was due more to the combination of the shape of the toy pressing into the prostate, along with the power of the twin-motors, rather than something specific to the motors alone. Compared to the Rosa I’d say the Hugo is a little more powerful overall, but the Rosa has the slightly deeper and more rumbly feel to it, which is an interesting trade. The toy performs absolutely beautifully, and I could tell from the first instant that I turned it on that it was going to be a winner as my body greeted it with instant arousal. The way the motors harmonise and deliver simultaneous pulses into both the prostate and the perineum, coupled with the firm pressure applied to each region, just feels exquisite. As I said with the Loki I enjoy all of the different patterns that are available and none of them is a dud; you can even match the pattern to your activity, or the type of sex you’re having. A long slow pattern for drawn out sensual sex, or a faster pattern for really energetic sex. When it comes down to the end result though, orgasms with the Hugo are fantastic. They’re stronger, more intense, and sometimes even surprising. True body-shaking orgasms that’ll have you eager to get ready to try it again. 
One nice feature that the Hugo specifically has is the SenseMotion remote. It’s a wireless remote powered by four AAA batteries, which lets you (or indeed a partner) control every function of the Hugo without actually having to touch it. Very handy if you’re wearing it under clothes. When you turn on the remote at first it’ll begin vibrating softly in tune with the Hugo, and from here you can begin to cycle through the patterns of the toy or change the power level. At first I was puzzled by the vibrations of the remote, because they’re not strong enough to provide any sexual pleasure by themselves, and in fact you can thankfully turn them off to save power, but I realised that the real use of the vibrations is if a partner is operating the remote, as they provide convenient feedback in hand about what the wearer is feeling. The other functions of the remote are that it has two motion-sensitive settings, so instead of simply relying on a pre-set pattern you can create your own by waving the remote about. This is quite novel, if a bit gimmicky, but I feel sure it would be more entertaining if using it with a partner rather than by yourself, as they can surprise you with an unexpected jolt of vibrations at any time. One point I will make regarding the remote is that the patterns coming from the Hugo should feel the exactly the same when changed by the remote, as they do when changed by the button on the body. I draw attention to this because at first mine felt quite different and it turned out to be a fault in that unit, and when it comes to a new product it can be confusing trying to judge what’s supposed to happen or not. On the whole I do like having the remote for its convenience, but I could also happily live without it, which is worth bearing in mind given the price difference between the Hugo and Bruno.
Like the Loki the Hugo is rechargeable, comes with a USB charging cable rather than a wall plug, is 100% waterproof, giving you the option of safely using it in the bath or shower, and comes with a cloth storage pouch. It’s a fairly quiet toy when used indoors, but it’s not really discreet enough to be worn out in public.
So after another lengthy review it’s pretty easy to see how I’m going to be wrapping this up. I really do adore the Hugo. I’m going to go ahead and say that as far as I’m concerned it’s the perfect wearable vibrating prostate massager, seamlessly combining form and function. Top marks to Lelo for creating this; it’s going to be my go-to toy from now on. The only slight drawback, because there always has to be one, is that like with the Loki I’d still like it to be a little more rumbly. Comparing it to the Rosa is what really brought that home, and made me realise that I’m not crazy for saying that. The Hugo is the superior toy in so many ways, and the one I’d recommend, but the slightly more rumbly vibrations from the Rosa permeate that bit deeper into the prostate, like ground penetrating radar, and it’s a difference that’s enough to be felt. When you consider all the other fantastic features of the Hugo which make it a winner, like the shape, the power, the patterns, it matters less overall, but I can’t help but imagine the result if it had that extra oomph from a deeper vibration. 
Whether it’s the Hugo, or you shun the remote and go for the Bruno, I really do recommend getting one of these. It’s an incredible experience which is worth trying first hand. If you’ve never tried prostate massage before it’ll entirely change how you’ve ever thought about the idea of sex toys for men.
Many thanks to the folks at Nice ‘n’ Naughty who sent this to me to review for them, and you can buy the Hugo from them right now if you’re in the UK or Europe.
Nice n NaughtyCheck out the Lelo website if you live further afield, or SheVibe.

Lelo Loki Prostate Massager

September is upon us and as we bid a sad farewell to the Summer let’s kick off the month with an exciting new product review!
A week ago Lelo made a big splash when they announced the launch of some all new toys for men, in the form of three specially-designed prostate massagers, and I had the very good fortune to be contacted prior to the launch and offered the chance to review them.
First up is the Loki, which I like to think of as the successor to the Billy. The Billy was my first serious sex toy that I got my hands on back in the infancy of my reviewing days, and it was all thanks to a £100 prize that I won in SexToys.co.uk‘s Review of the Month competition. Before then I never would have considered spending £80 on a sex toy but the Billy quickly became a firm favourite, blowing me away with its intense vibrations, and proving it was worth every penny. With the passage of time, though, there did come a point when I started to crave a little more; a little more power, a little more girth, and now it would seem Lelo have heeded that call.
Catch the review below!

For a lot of years now Lelo have focused primarily on the female and couples market, with only one powered toy in their range of luxury Swedish-designed products that was aimed wholly and exclusively at men. The release of the Loki marks their long-awaited and very welcome return to this arena, and with two other products in tow they’ve clearly returned in full force.
The Loki is, in many ways, similar to the Billy in that it’s a handheld prostate massager, rather than one designed to be worn, but don’t worry if you’re a fan of the latter as Lelo have covered all the bases with their other two products. At first glance what stands out about the Loki is its size, because it’s significantly bigger than the Billy. At total you’re looking at 8″ inches from end to end, versus only 6 3/4″ with the Billy, but interestingly all of this extra length is taken up by handle on the toy, leaving the exact same 4″ of insertable shaft. This is quite an important feature because, as I’m always telling people, the prostate is actually quite shallow and easy to reach, and 4″ is more than enough to get there, but the larger handle is far more practical to operate during use. The other place where the Loki is notably larger is in its girth, which comes in at 4 5/8″ around the widest point, again compared to only 3 1/2″ on the Billy.
Those of you with keen eyes and a comprehensive amount of Lelo product knowledge may have noticed that the Loki looks an awful lot like the Lelo Mona, and indeed this was the first thing that struck me. After hearing many of my female reviewer friends rave about the Mona 2 I was quite excited by this fact, and that I’d finally be able to try an anal-safe version of it, so I casually put the question to my contact from Lelo expecting to get a simple confirmation, but instead the response was rather more evasive. The official line is that “[Lelo] products have some recognizable similar features, but each of them is a distinctive different product, designed for it’s own purposes” which is fair enough, but to my mind it’s still just a modified Mona, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. 
The construction of the Loki is again similar to that of the Billy, and indeed to many of Lelo’s other vibrators. Internally it’s made from a firm white ABS plastic which is visible around the handle, while the insertable portion is covered by a thin layer of soft velvety silicone. There are two colour options available for the silicone, Federal Blue or Obsidian Black. I happen to have the black one as you’ll see from the side by side photos I took of the Loki with the Billy, but I included an example of the blue at the top as I think it looks a bit nicer. The amount of silicone on the Loki does feel marginally thicker than on the Billy, and you can feel a little give when you squeeze it, so it does provide a touch of cushioning. One area where there is substantially more silicone is in the guard piece between the handle and shaft, which is much larger than on the Billy and provides a good solid limitation on how far the Loki can be inserted. 
When it does come to inserting the Loki it’s a nice smooth affair. The size clearly makes it less beginner-friendly than the Billy, but the gentle taper helps to ease that bulbous shaft into the body, and the smooth plush silicone feels lovely against the skin. Inside the body the Loki feels pleasantly filling; it’s not the biggest toy in the world but you can really feel its presence, especially with the way that it angles itself into the prostate and applies a gentle pressure. Whereas the Billy often felt that it didn’t fill you enough the Loki is ideal and feels perfectly satisfying, because frankly for this purpose you wouldn’t want something that went too far in the opposite direction and really stretched you out either. 
With the toy in position it stays quite happily in place meaning there’s no need to keep holding onto it if you don’t wish. The handle protrudes from the body enough that it’s easy to grab onto to operate, and with a little flexibility you can see the buttons too. Most of the time you’re going to be operating the buttons blind, and thankfully some changes to the control pad since the Billy make it easier to decipher what you’re going to be pushing. There are 4 buttons in total laid out like the points of a compass. West and East are + & – which control the vibration intensity, while North and South cycle up and down through the six different patterns.
The vibrations are impressively strong, even on the lower settings, and you can really feel them penetrating into the prostate. It’s definitely a welcome step up from the Billy. In terms on what the vibrations themselves are like on a buzzy to rumbly scale, they’re more midway between the two, leaning more towards the rumbly side. Personally I would have preferred a little more of a deeper rumbly vibration than what you get, but it’s still a really pleasing sensation that it delivers, especially when coupled with the intensity of the power settings. 
The six patterns that you get to pick from are as follows: constant vibration, steady pulses, rapid pulses, repeated increase in intensity from low to high, gentle increase from low to high and back down again, and lastly random mode which produces pulses with no set interval. It’s not often I say this but I actually like all the patterns and none of them are a dud for me. They’re a little bit different to the patterns on the Billy, and at first I was worried that I was going to miss a couple of my favourites, but there are options which are similar enough that they get the job done just as well, and better too when you add in the increased vibration strength.
One thing that’s always nice about the handheld prostate massagers is that you can manipulate them during use. Most of the time you’ll probably just lie there letting it do its thing, but if you grab the handle you can do short thrusts with it to add extra stimulation to the prostate, or you can angle it more into the prostate to add a firmer pressure. You can also have a partner grab the handle and use it on you, and all of these really add to the experience. 
There’s enough flexibility with the various patterns and settings that you can configure it to something that feels soothing enough to enjoy while you watch TV, play a videogame, or even write a review (ahem), but when you get everything set just right and turned all the way up it can feel incredibly pleasurable and add an intense edge to a masturbation session that you didn’t even know you were missing.
Like the Billy the Loki is rechargeable, has a lockable keypad for use when travelling, and comes with a cloth storage pouch. It is a tad more noisy than the Billy, but with a closed door it’s doubtful anyone would hear it. It comes with a USB charging cable rather than a wall plug, and one welcome upgrade is that the Loki is 100% waterproof, giving you the option of safely using it in the bath or shower.

So as we reach the point of the review where I feel that it’s time to wrap up, I only have one thing to say; buy one. Lelo have really impressed me here with this one, it’s as though someone looked at my list of everything I’d tweak with Billy and then went away and made it happen. It thoroughly deserves my recommendation: it’s delightfully filling, it’s easy to operate, and its strong vibrations will remind you why it’s great to own a prostate. If you’re a Billy owner already then it’s well worth the upgrade.
Thanks to Lelo for sending me one to review and it’s available to buy directly from them right now, and from the following places around the world:
North America: Lovehoney USA, Shevibe

Pulse II Solo

This week it’s time for a review of a new product from my friends at Hot Octopuss: the Pulse II Solo. It’s the follow-up to their wildly successful original ‘guybrator’, The Pulse, which launched back in 2013 to much acclaim. I was a huge fan of that toy, so let’s see where they’re taking us now!

Note: this product has since been replaced by an updated version, the Pulse III Solo

With the launch of Fun Factory’s Cobra Libre II late last year, and now a brand new Pulse model, it couldn’t be a better time to own a penis. For those of us who enjoy all things vibrational, it would seem that for the first time we’re almost spoiled for choice, and I for one am relishing this new trend.
Having only launched two years ago, it might appear somewhat soon for an upgrade to the Pulse, so having first heard of this new model I was immediately gripped with anticipation to see what reworkings had taken place to justify it, and more importantly from a reviewer’s perspective, whether any of it had been the result of our feedback
Possibly the biggest shake up to the Pulse is that it’s become the Pulses, plural, with the introduction of “Solo” and “Duo” models for the Pulse II. The original Pulse offered multifunctionality aimed at couples play, while still primarily being a toy for the man, and it did this by offering a secondary point of vibration which could stimulate a female partner during use. The Pulse II Duo represents the point of continuity with this concept and is most consistent with the original design, while the Pulse II Solo is the new kid on the block, dispensing with this aspect altogether and focussing solely on individual pleasure. 
Today I’m going to be looking specifically at the Pulse II Solo, and I have to say that I’m quite pleased with this divergence in the design. It’s not because I had any particular issue with it in the old model, it’s just that it was redundant for all those but heterosexual couples, and by stripping out the redundancy from one half of the new Pulse II pairing they’ve also managed to make the Solo £20 cheaper than the Duo. I’ve always felt that affordability is massively important for consumers, and after all no one wants to be paying for features they’re not using, so this is a positive development right off the bat.
So what exactly is the Pulse II Solo? I’ve been speaking so far with the assumption that everyone has read my earlier review and has a general understanding of the nature of these products, but for the benefit of those coming to this afresh. The Pulse is a vibrating male masturbatory aid, or a ‘Guybrator’ to use the term they’ve coined, and it’s one of the very very few vibrators aimed specifically at men. It differs from nearly all other male masturbators on the market, such as your Fleshjacks and Tengas, because it takes the conventional thinking about how men get off and turns it on its head. Most male sex toys aim to replicate the natural sexual experience as closely as possible, that is they involve the penis being thrust inside something in order to stimulate it to the point of orgasm. The Pulse on the other hand requires absolutely no motion on the part of the user, and brings him to climax via the use of powerful vibrations targeted directly at the most sensitive part of the penis. For any man who’s experienced the joys of vibrator use before then it probably doesn’t seem that revolutionary, but within the realm of male sex toys it really is.
The design of the Pulse II closely follows on from the original Pulse, employing the same shape and the same materials, with the only real difference being the size. The Pulse II is ever so slightly larger over all, and mainly in terms of length. What’s unusual though is that one area does seem to be smaller, and that’s the opening where you place your penis, but I’ll talk more about that later. The central channel is where the “Pulse Plate” lies, and this is the piece of technology which produces the vibrations, or to be more accurate, the oscillations. It’s strategically located to make contact with the sensitive underside of the penis, where the nerve-rich frenulum is located. The channel isn’t entirely enclosed, and is flanked by two flexible silicone “wings” which adapt to accommodate the size of penis placed between them. It’s quite a stylish toy on the whole, and it’s well made from quality body-safe materials such as silicone and ABS plastic.
To use the Pulse II you first begin by inserting your penis into the channel, and what’s quite beautiful about the whole way the product is engineered is that doesn’t really matter what state your penis is in, be it hard or soft, circumcised or intact, with the foreskin retracted or not. It’s functional in all situations, which is beneficial to anyone who might suffer from erectile dysfunction or a tight foreskin, for example, which limits their ability to use other toys, or be intimate with a partner. One thing I did notice, however, is that the channel definitely is smaller, and that bodes less well for more endowed men, specifically men with more girth, or in this case a wider penis. The flexible silicone wings felt noticeably snugger around my penis, and they had the same problem as in the original model, whereby they’re only flexible in their top half. I’m going to briefly quote myself as explanation. 

One thing I did notice though is that the “wings” are flexible mainly at the top half, and not towards the bottom, so while the top section can become almost infinitely wider the bottom of the channel always retains the same semi-circular shape. Where this could cause an issue is that most penises don’t have a completely circular cross-section and are wider from left to right than from top to bottom, so depending on the size and shape of the penis you may find that once inserted to the fullest extent the shaft may hover above the Pulse Plate without actually making direct contact. This probably won’t be an issue for most people, but if your penis is very wide in one direction, and not so much in the other, then it’s worth bearing in mind.

Like many I happen to have a penis which is wider in one axis than the other, and the smaller (narrower) channel does exacerbate the issue of flexibility with the wings. Instead of my penis lying completely level and flat along the channel, the pressure from the wings causes it to twist to try to conform with the narrow space, breaking optimal alignment with the Pulse Plate. The only way to really deal with this is to manually push the head of my penis down into the Pulse Plate and hold it in place, which works but which isn’t ideal if you were going for a hands-free experience. From my experience making the channel smaller is an unfortunate change, but perhaps there’s some evidence which shows it’s more suited to the penis size of a greater number of people, and it’s not enough to be a deal-breaker either way. 
To turn the Pulse II on you hold down the button on the left hand side and it jumps into a constant vibration mode at its lowest intensity. It’s a very powerful deep rumbly vibration, and I am inclined to say that it feels slightly stronger than the original model. From here you can either adjust the strength of the intensity using the  + and – buttons on the right hand side of the Pulse, or for the first time you can cycle through 5 different vibration patterns by pressing the power button. The strength of the vibrations is truly impressive; they penetrate deep into the shaft and can be felt all the way down to the pubic bone, and they even have the effect of making the penis appear blurry at times because the whole organ itself begins to vibrate. This “total vibration” is one of the most unique features of the Pulse II, because although the vibrations are being applied directly at the frenulum, they don’t simply feel localised here, but can be felt all over. Feeling every inch of your penis vibrating is fascinating, and entirely new, not to mention intensely pleasurable. It’s miles away from conventional masturbation, and it’s this whole new world of sensation which makes it all the more interesting. What really makes it special though is the inclusion of the patterns finally, because their absence did let down the original Pulse. Now with the ability to experience a good rhythm of vibrations it takes the experience to another level, and you have a choice of slow or faster, as well as a couple of more elaborate patterns. Because the vibrations from the Pulse are so strong it does run the risk of overwhelming you at times, so if you want a long drawn out session of pleasure, then you have to be careful that it doesn’t push you over the edge too soon. If you do manage to get it just right, and have an extended period of foreplay with the toy, then the orgasm that it rewards you with is quite explosive at the end, and definitely worth it. 
The one major drawback of the toy is exactly the same as with the original Pulse, and that’s the noise. It’s not a subtle toy at all, and that could be problematic for a lot of people. It sounds like a little lawnmower engine chugging away, and is liable to rouse suspicion if you live in close quarters with others. I know I’d have trouble relaxing if I was using it and I knew there was someone on the other side of a thin partition wall.
Another point I do want to raise about the Pulse II is regarding the buttons. They’re smaller than on the original Pulse, and much stiffer too, which can make them awkward to push. The upside is that they’re less likely to go off in your luggage, but they can be a struggle to operate while your penis is in the device, and this goes doubly if your penis doesn’t quite fit in it properly and you’re already using one hand to secure it in the right position. I mostly raise this with the thought of people with dexterity issues, however, because for everything the Pulse does to aid those who struggle sexually the buttons could trip them up.
The Pulse II is a fully rechargeable toy and it comes with a USB cable which plugs into a port in the rear. The port is sealed by a little silicone stopper which stays in place much better than on the original Pulse. The other advantage is that the Pulse II is now 100% waterproof, which makes it far easier to clean afterwards. 
At the start of the review I mentioned the Cobra Libre II, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t make some attempt to compare the two, but the difficulty is that the two really are apples and oranges, despite at least seeming to have so much in common. The Cobra is a lovely polished piece of design, and as much as I enjoy it, the vibrations feel that much more superficial. The Pulse II on the other hand wins on the sensation front. It may feel slightly awkward to use at times, what with the buttons, and trying to keep the right bits of your penis in contact with the right bits of the toy, but the absolute penetrating power of the vibrations from the Pulse plate are without rival. It’s an incredible new world of sensations, and after using them back-to-back it was the Pulse that my penis was yearning to return to. 
I have to say that on the whole the Pulse II feels like a significant step up from the original Pulse. It’s a much more polished device, and while all the design features don’t suit me personally I like the direction in which the company is going. The original Pulse was their first product, and on that basis it was outstanding, but you can tell that they’re learning now and improving as they go along. I’d definitely recommend the Pulse II Solo, but I think the question is, would I recommend it to people who already own an original Pulse? Is it enough of an upgrade to justify buying something so similar? My answer would actually be yes. There’s enough new stuff going on to warrant the purchase. Before I’d tried it I didn’t know what I was missing out on, but now I wouldn’t want to go back. The strength and quality of the vibrations just seems to feel better, and the patterns are the icing on the cake. My only caveat would be to guys with a thicker (wider) penis, because if the original Pulse felt too snug for you then the Pulse II will only add to that frustration. 
Thanks to Hot Octopuss for providing me with the Pulse II Solo to review, and you can buy it directly from them, as well as any of the fine retailers I have links to on my blog.