I’ve been wanting to try out Spunk Lube ever since I heard about it a few months ago, and I finally went ahead and bought a bottle.
Spunk Lube, in case you hadn’t guessed already, is a lubricant designed to look like semen, but before I begin the review I have a small confession to make; I hate cum. Well, that is I hate the reality of cum, sure watching the cum shot in porn is one of the best parts, but actually tasting cum or feeling its warm slimy texture on my skin is something I just can’t stand. So why then would I buy a lube that tries to mimic cum? Well quite simply because it’s everything I like about cum, i.e. the visual aspect, but with none of things I hate.
The first question to be answered is does it look like cum? Well yes, and no. The fact is that there is no single universal appearance for semen, some individuals have whiter semen, others more watery, etc. People often find that their semen changes colour and consistency depending on their diet. Quite frankly there can be a lot of variation. The second question then is does it look the way we expect cum to look? and that unequivocally gets a big thumbs up. Spunk Lube is thick, it’s white, it’s slightly translucent. Pump a load into your hand and you could easily mistake it for the real thing. It looks just like the creamy stuff you expect to see gushing out of one porn star and onto the chest of another.
Appearance isn’t everything, however, and when it comes to a lube you want to be sure that it’s up to the job. Spunk Lube is a hybrid lube, meaning it’s a mix between a water-based and a silicone lube, and as such it incorporates the qualities of both. One thing that toy lovers out there will be happy to know is that hybrid lubes are completely safe for use with silicone sex toys.
The consistency of the lube is like a gel, but it feels rich and silky against the skin. It spreads around easily so you can get a good coverage, but the thickness of it means that it flows very slowly, so you won’t find it dripping off and landing on places where it shouldn’t be. I’ve never tried a hybrid lube before so just rubbing it between the thumb and forefinger was an interesting experience; it doesn’t feel quite as slippery as a silicone lube, but it does more so than with a water-based one.
I don’t really use lube for masturbation but I had to urge to do so with the Spunk Lube. It’s a funny sight to to see your penis covered in what appears to be ejaculate before you’ve even started. The lube felt nice against the penis and it didn’t take a lot to get going, though I found it more fun to use extra. One of the things I liked was when I briefly stopped masturbating while my foreskin was covering the head of my penis, and then squeezed all of the lube out from under it, so it sat on the top and looked like a blob of cum perched there. There’s just something vaguely erotic about that.
For the most part Spunk Lube isn’t sticky, though it does get a little gummy before it dries completely, at which point you’re left with a small amount of residue which can be brushed away. The lube does last for a reasonable amount of time, but not as long as a pure silicone lube; if you’re using it in an open environment then the water content in the lube will evaporate and require you to add more. For this reason I’d suggest applying it more liberally when masturbating in order to forestall this. I masturbated with it all the way up to the gummy stage to see what happened, and at this point my foreskin began sticking to the head of my penis and I got a chafing sensation, so it’s best to avoid this during normal use.
Spunk Lube is great to use with insertable toys; it adheres to the surface of any material really well, whether it be glass, metal, silicone, etc, and a little bit really does go a long way. It’s especially good to use with larger toys where you need a lot of coverage, and anal toys where you want something thick. I tested it with a few toys and they all slipped in like a charm and glided smoothly during thrusting. Once the lube is inside the body it doesn’t really feel different to any other lube, it’s just pleasant. Sometimes when you pull out your favourite phallic dildo and see Spunk Lube dripping down the side of it, it can make the experience seem that bit more realistic.
The lube is completely tasteless, so if you’ve slathered it all over your partner before going down on them then the experience won’t be unpleasant. It also has a smooth texture that shouldn’t offend.
The lube cleans up nicely once you’re done. If the lube is still wet then you can just rinse it off under a warm tap, though a little soap and some gentle agitation can help things along due to the silicone content. If it’s dried then you can just brush away the residue easily, or again rinse it off. I have to say that I find the residue from Spunk Lube a whole lot more pleasant than I do the residue from actual semen, and a whole lot easier to wash off.
Spunk Lube is supposed to be safe for use with Fleshjacks, though I haven’t yet tried this myself, my reasoning being that just as a matter of personal preference I prefer a thinner more watery lube for use with a Fleshjack, rather than a gel, and secondly I’m lazy when it comes to clean up, so those extra couple of seconds it takes to rinse a hybrid lube off rather than a water-based would discourage me. I have no doubt that the two would make a very good combination, and I will try it at some point for the sake of making this review completely comprehensive.
One good use I can think of for Spunk Lube is to enhance safe sex. Many people enjoy ejaculating inside their partner, and then withdrawing to see the result of their work dripping out, but this can’t be achieved by people who are using condoms during sex. A simple solution is to squirt your partner full of spunk lube before sex, and then enjoy the same visual afterwards as the lube oozes out.
Possibly the only downside to Spunk Lube is that you’re going to get through it quickly. With most lubes you might feel the urge to use it sparingly, but with Spunk Lube it’s so much fun to look at that you could find it hard to resist the urge to squirt large quantities of it everywhere and then need to buy more. I suspect that this is the reason why the manufacturer also sells it in gallon-sized bottles, for people who can’t get enough of it.
Spunk lube is the brainchild of a man named Jeff, an entrepreneur who handles all the sales and marketing by himself. For me personally this only makes the product that much more appealing, because not only is it a great lube, but it also represents personal innovation which I admire, and I love to support such endeavours.
Overall I must say that I really like Spunk Lube, and not just for the novelty factor. It’s a really good lube that’s really good value for money, and I can happily recommend it. I know that in the future it’s going to be one of my lubes of choice.
Spunk lube can be purchased directly from the manufacturer.