Taintacle dildo by Hankey’s Toys

Back towards the end of October I was in London visiting a friend, and after a nice dinner in Soho we decided to pop into CloneZone for a mooch around before heading down to Heaven to watch Monet Xchange.
This is where I first encountered Mr Hankey’s Toys. It’s unusual for me to discover a new brand these days, but there stood a whole cabinet of these wonderful looking silicone creations, and one immediately took my eye – The Rentman.
When I got home I immediately looked them up, and decided that I’d pop them an e-mail and see if they’d be open to sending me a Rentman to review. As it turned out they got back to me and instead generously offered 3 products of my choice, and now is the time to finally tell you all about these incredible toys, starting with the Taintacle.

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The Spank from Boneyard Toys

Recently I discovered a new sex toy brand on Instagram, and instantly fell in love with their skull-emblazoned products. After I happened to “like” one of their posts they got in touch and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing a few things for them, and today I’m going to be looking at the beautiful Spank paddle. 

The Spank is a gorgeous 100% silicone paddle, much in the same vein as the range put out by Tantus back in 2013, and recently expanded on. What makes it interesting to me is that it’s my first textured paddle. 
The design is quite similar to the Tantus Wham Bam, in that it has this long slender spatula shape, and it’s similarly proportioned at 15″ long by 2 1/4″ wide. What I really like about it compared to the Wham Bam is that it has a much more ergonomic handle. The whole thing is rounded, so it fits nicely within your grasp, and avoids any sharp corners which might lessen the comfort. 
The whole surface of the paddle is covered in these adorable little skulls which stand proud from the surface, and which also appear on many other Boneyard products. I’ve always been a person who loves anything with a skull on it, be it t-shirt, a pirate flag, or even the Cock Skull dildo I reviewed a few years back, so it’s right up my alley. 
In terms of use it packs an impressive thwack, and you don’t have to use to great deal of force to produce a satisfying sting. What’s nice about the paddle is that it actually does a lot of the work for you. Because it’s so flexible as you swing it away from your target it bends backwards, and then as you change direction and go to make impact it snaps back forwards automatically, hitting the target without you needing to physically drive the paddle against the flesh like you would with something solid. The key to using it is all in the wrist action, and doesn’t require a lot of motion, so you can get great results even if you aren’t very strong, all the way from a cheeky tap to zinging wallop. Comparing it to the Wham Bam, when used with equal force they produce a very similar level of sensation, which should be enough to punish even the naughtiest of boys or girls.  
One thing I’m sure that everyone is wondering, is do the skulls leave a mark? Well I’ve been sat here beating my pale skin with as much force as I can reasonably tolerate, and as I slowly turn a shade of red you can faintly see the impression of a skull or two, but not significantly. Now there may be a difference if you’re less of a wimp than I, or have a victim who’s open to a good beating, but I can’t say. 
What’s great about the Spank, as with any silicone toy, is that it’s completely non-porous and can be sterilised after use. So whatever you get up to with it, and however many different bodily fluids end up in its nooks and crannies, you can always boil it, bleach it, or run it through the dishwasher, and it’s safe to use with your next bedroom playmate. 
I’m definitely a big fan of the Spank. It’s really well made, it gets the job done superbly, and it looks great in the process. I’d happily recommend it to anyone, and I’m looking forward to reviewing the other toys they sent me. 
Check out the Boneyard Toys website, and you can pick one up today!

Tantus Capsule Plug

Hello my lovelies! I apologise for the short hiatus here, but unfortunately sometimes life does manage to get in the way of blogging. It’s a beautiful day outside, and I thought I’d sit down and get my Carrie Bradshaw on, and try to hammer out a few reviews. 

First up is this gorgeous Capsule Plug from Tantus!

The Capsule is the second piece in Tantus’s new line of Steampunk-inspired toys, designed in collaboration with SheVibe. The first, of course, being the incredible Steam Hunk dildo, which I encourage you to check out the review for if you haven’t already. 
As with the Steam Hunk the Capsule comes in a choice of two colours: a standard black, and an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous shimmering copper. (Seriously, why would anyone not pick the copper!?)

This time around though we’re also offered a choice in sizes, with a standard model, and a “petite” capsule, for the less-explored final frontiers. As usual I will primarily be focusing on the larger plug, but just to give a quick idea of the size difference, the standard plug is 5″ tall, 3 7/8″ insertable, and 5 1/4″ circumference, while the Petite is 4″ tall, 3″ insertable, and 4 1/8″ circumference. 
Unusually for Tantus the plug is made from their SuperSoft silicone – something typically reserved for their realistic dildos – rather than their standard formula, but this is actually very smart because the plug has a lot of texture going on, and in my experience heavy texture + firm silicone is a recipe for discomfort. 
The design of the Capsule is supposed to like part of an antique spacecraft, almost akin to something from the Jules Verne novel “From the Earth to the Moon,” and everything from the tapered shape to the exquisite detailing all over the surface reflects this perfectly. I can’t help but find myself unconsciously humming along to Dinah Washington’s “Destination Moon” when I’m looking at it. 
The basic shape of the Capsule is more or less that of traditional buttplug; there’s a very nicely tapered body which comes to a point at one end, a slender neck just below it, and then a quite generous base at the bottom to ensure safety during use. The body of the plug is fashioned as the habitable part of the Capsule, and features a porthole on either side, with the rest of it made to look as though it’s built from panels of sheet metal, riveted and banded together in early-industrial style. The neck and base together form the rocket engine, looking like a Victorian twist on the throat and nozzle of the massive engines we see quivering beneath the modern-day Space Shuttle shortly prior to launch. This aspect of the design does help to explain the bulk of the base, because anything other than a circular shape wouldn’t have been in-keeping with the overall appearance. It’s a really delightful toy to look at, and you can tell that someone put a lot of effort into sculpting the original piece, just by the sheer level of detail.
In terms of use the Capsule inserts nice and easily thanks to its very tapered tip, but you’ll probably want to use a bit of extra lube to coat all of that texture, as it both adds to the surface area and creates a little extra friction / resistance. You can definitely feel the level of texture as the skin slides over it, and thanks to the softness of the silicone it’s not an uncomfortable sensation, but just feels like an added something of interest to be aware of. Inside the body you do get a little bit of fullness, but nothing too overwhelming as it is only a modestly-sized plug, so it’s great for someone just looking for something casual to play with on an every day basis. The bulky base nestles very comfortably between the buttocks, but realistically if you compare it to a more slimline base it’s going to feel a touch obtrusive, but what’s also nice about that SuperSoft silicone is that both the neck and base feel squishy, so you can squeeze all your muscles around it and it comfortably reacts, rather than feeling like some solid lump there. You can even quite easily sit down while wearing the plug, without any discomfort. 
In terms of long-term wearing, this is the one place where I feel that the Capsule doesn’t do so well. The more time you have the plug in, the more the water-based lubricant on it will dry up, any eventually even that subtle texture around the neck and base will start to tug and rub on the skin, making you aware of it. It’s a slight drawback, but it all depends how long you want to use a plug for. In terms of short-term wearing you’ll definitely notice a slight difference in sensation around the sphincter, compared to a completely smooth plug, but not any discomfort, so it’s well suited to that. 
When it comes to removing the plug, again it slides out just as easily as it went in. You’ll feel the texture, but because that lube that was on the plug doesn’t dry up internally, it’ll ease it on its way.
I will quickly mention about cleaning the plug. Because there’s such a high level of detail in the design, there are a lot of nooks and crannies for dirt to get trapped, so you’ll want to rinse it almost immediately, and pay extra attention when cleaning. Luckily there are lots of sterilisation options for silicone toys, so it’s not too much trouble to get it feeling fresh and new again. 
I have to thank Tantus for sending me the Capsule. It’s a great little plug, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who loves quirky designs in their sex toys!
It’s available directly from their website