We-Vibe Tango USB

Two years ago I went on a quest to find a powerful bullet vibe that I could use in place of the buzzy battery-powered vibes that came packaged as standard with many prostate massagers and butt plugs on the market, and that quest lead me to the We-Vibe Salsa. Almost instantly the Salsa became my all time favourite bullet and I was ready to recommend it to all who asked – and even those who didn’t – but then about a year later two things happened: We-Vibe announced that they were phasing out the Salsa in favour of its identically-powered yet differently-shaped cousin, the Tango, and the power button on my Salsa gave up the ghost, becoming temperamental at best and entirely unresponsive otherwise.
Naturally I was quite upset to suddenly be Salsa-less, but I muddled along and made do with substitutes where I could, and then suddenly this month the generous folks at Simply Pleasure came to the rescue and offered me a new We-Vibe Tango to review. I say ‘new’ because it turns out that while We-Vibe were phasing out the Salsa, they took the opportunity to make a few design improvements to the Tango, and you can find out what I think about the changes below!

Traditionally bullet vibes have always been considered a product almost exclusively for women, but with more and more unisex toys containing bullet holes these days, items such as the Tango are proving to be a convenient powerhouse to give a welcome boost to an assortment of other novelties in your toy drawer.

The Tango is a nice compact vibe which measures in at only 3 1/2″ long by 3/4″ wide, putting it just a nose ahead of the Salsa (or 1/8″ to be precise). It’s a little longer than the battery powered bullets you get included with some toys, but the width allows it to easily fit inside products made by Tantus and Rocks Off amongst others. The body of the toy is manufactured in one single piece from ABS plastic, and comes in a choice of only two colours, blue or pink, down from a selection of six in the old Salsa/Tango line. This does make the product feel a little more gendered now, but I’m sure it’s simply a reflection of which colours retailers reported as being the best sellers. The surface of the plastic is very smooth and shiny, and they’ve even managed to eliminate the faint moulding moulding mark that was on the tip of the Salsa, leaving it flawless. The end of the bullet is angled on one side, giving it a flat surface which resembles a tube of lipstick, while the other side of the tip is gently rounded as on the Salsa, but it doesn’t reach quite such a pronounced point at the end. The base of the toy is finished off with a solid white silicone-rubber cap where the power button is located. The Tango has a lovely sleek appearance, and as well as being attractive it also looks quite discreet.

As with the Salsa the Tango has eight modes in total: four differing speeds as well as four varying vibration patterns. This makes it especially good if you’re going to use it inside another toy, as standard bullets typically only have one mode of on or off. The bullet is activated by pressing the button at the end once, and every subsequent press of the button will change the Tango to the next mode. Once you cycle through all eight modes pressing the button again will switch the vibe off. If you want to switch the vibe off immediately then holding down the button for a couple of seconds will do this, and the next time you turn the vibe on it will remember which mode you were using last, which I found to be a very handy feature. The button is nice and responsive, you don’t have to push it too firmly, and it feels reassuringly well-built. I said the same thing about the button on the Salsa before it failed on me, but you can feel that the button in the Tango is one of the areas that has been upgraded, and it makes a good “click” when you press it. The vibrations from the Tango are wonderfully strong, and even at the lowest setting they feel deep and rumbly. When you use the Tango inside another toy, such as a butt plug, it’s this power which really helps the vibrations to travel through the thick layers of material and still be able to be felt deep inside the body. It has to be the vibration patterns which are my favourite part though, as the rhythmic pulsing of the vibe inside a butt plug causes some great sensations internally, especially in the prostate. The vibe by itself is quite quiet, though I would say it’s a little louder than some other bullets I have, but still not enough to be heard through a closed door or a thin partition wall. When it’s inside another toy the sound gets muffled exceedingly well and is even less obvious.

Aside from utilising the Tango inside bullet toys, the other way I can put it to use as a man is for penile stimulation, and this actually turned out to be one of my favourite things to do with the Salsa. Vibrations can feel incredibly stimulating on the penis if they’re used in the correct manner. Typically I don’t enjoy bullet vibes for this as they’re too buzzy, but the Tango is different. The Tango delivers strong vibrating sensations deep into the penis, which feel great when it’s applied to the head and around the frenulum. What’s fun about the Tango compared to the Salsa is that the angled tip gives you two different ways to use it. When you have the flat side applied to the penis you have a greater surface area of the bullet making contact with the skin, which increases sensation. Typically I find myself using the rounded side more, just as I would have used the Salsa, and perhaps out of habit, but it’s nice to have the option of both, and to be able to switch between them mid masturbation to add in a little variety. Despite the tip being slightly less pointed than on the salsa it’s still great for applying more precise and concentrated stimulation, and the difference isn’t discernible to me. The different vibration patterns also work well in this instance and can increase the level of pleasure, and hasten climax. It can be great to use just for teasing as part of foreplay, or in combination with a handjob to enhance the experience.

The Tango is a waterproof toy, which means it can be used in the bath or shower if you’re considering taking your play outside the bedroom. It also means that it’s very easy to clean, as you can splash as much water over it as you like. As a precaution you only want to wash it with hot water and anti-bacterial soap, or with your favourite toy cleaner / toy wipe. Plastic is a durable material, but it’s not advisable to go boiling electronic items.

The Tango comes with a rather clever magnetic charging system that works through USB. It’s comprised of two basic parts, a white dock which connects to the Tango magnetically, and a separate cable which runs between the dock and a USB port on a computer. The advantage of the magnetic system is that it allows the Tango to be 100% waterproof. The way this is achieved is by having a solid silicone-rubber cap at the end of the Tango, which is where the control button is located. Either side of the button are two metal electrodes which protrude above the rubber seal, and these in turn connect to two shallow metal depressions on the underside of the plastic dock. When all the metal parts are touching the current flows and the Tango charges. The improvement here is that the electrodes on the Tango protrude significantly further than those on the Salsa, and thus always maintain contact for the duration of a full charge, unlike on my Salsa which would frequently break the connection and stop charging well before it was done. The only slight downside to the improved electrodes is that their protrusion can feel somewhat uncomfortable on the finger when you’re trying to press the button that sits between them, but I’m not going to complain as it’s preferable to the nightmare I had charging my Salsa. The dock itself has a little orange LED on it which illuminates whilst charging is taking place, and goes out to indicate that it’s complete. Once the is Tango is fully charged it has enough battery life to last for 2 hours, which is impressive for a toy of its size. Another new feature on the Tango is that an orange LED next to the power button will start flashing to indicate when the bullet is low on power, which is very handy so you know when to charge it up again, and avoid taking it out of your drawer next time only to discover it has only 60 seconds of life remaining.

One of the nice added features is that the Tango comes with its own white satin storage pouch. It’s a little oversized compared to the diminutive bullet, but it’s useful for putting the USB charging cable in too for when you’re travelling.

Overall I’m exceptionally pleased with the Tango; it’s powerful, versatile and a quality product. I’m very impressed that they’ve managed to iron out all the complaints I had about the Salsa, and as such I’d have to give it full marks. The difference in shape of the tip is something that I’m neither here nor there about; I do like the versatility of it, but I was also perfectly content with that of the Salsa, and could see myself being equally happy with either, so it’s not a game-changer for me. The USB charging, though, is a massive improvement as far as I’m concerned, and in fact the only thing I could honestly say that I miss about the Salsa was its scarlet colour, otherwise I’m a full Tango convert.

The We-Vibe Tango USB is available right now from Simply Pleasure.

Fun Factory Stronic Zwei

Not long ago the German manufacturer Fun Factory came out with a revolutionary new thrusting vibrator for women, called the Stronic Eins. After reading several reviews of it I immediately became curious about how it would actually feel to experience the sensations from it first hand, and being the fan of innovation that I am I  began to wonder if there was any way that I could use it myself. Luckily for me, however, Fun Factory have just released the all-new Stronic Zwei, with a flared based specifically designed for anal use, so I need wonder no longer.
When Sam from Simply Pleasure asked if I’d like to try one out I have to say that I was thrilled by the offer and positively ecstatic, so huge, huge, thanks to them for sending it to me.

I feel that I should begin this review by saying that the Stronic Zwei is a big toy, and this is definitely something which anyone considering it should bear in mind. Often manufacturers try to take a safe middle road when designing the dimensions of these things, take for example my favourite anal vibrator, the Lelo Billy, it’s wonderfully powerful but only about an inch wide, so fill you up it does not. The Stronic Zwei, in contrast, throws this out the window and is proudly girthy. I’m not sure whether this was intentional, or rather a necessity in order to house the complex mechanism inside, but either way it’s probably going to be a bit of a gamble. While those such as myself will love the girthiness that it has to offer, just as many people – if not more – will be put off by the fact that they’re simply not able to insert something of that size. The question is, though, if you can’t currently insert it, is it worth the effort to reach a point where you can?

The differences between the Stronic Zwei and its predecessor the Stronic Eins are largely cosmetic, but these are enough to completely change its purpose, making one anal-safe while the other is not. For the curious “Eins” and “Zwei” are simply the German words for “one” and “two,” so while it may sound exotic to the ears of those of us in the Anglosphere, it transpires to be a rather simplistic naming technique. Recently Fun Factory have even come out with a third addition to the line, the Stronic Drei, which I hope to try at some point. The common feature in all the Stronics is the handle which is made out of a black matte plastic, and located on it are the three buttons used to operate the Stronic, along with charging contacts which connect to the power cable.

The insertable portion of the Stronic takes its somewhat familiar shape from the thick layer of silicone which covers its inner workings. The silicone itself is soft and velvety with a matte finish, and somewhat extraordinarily for an electronic toy has not even a hint of a mould line. Down by the handle the silicone flares out on two sides, like the hand guard on a sword, giving the Zwei its anal-safe credentials, and then the shaft itself undulates down its length with two main bulges which mirror the shape of many prostate toys. On the whole only around 4 1/2″ of the toy are actually insertable, but the circumference of the largest bulge is an even 6″, making it short yet girthy. What’s interesting is that the two “fins” of the guard piece don’t lie completely perpendicular to the shaft, and sit at a slight diagonal angle, and I’m not entirely certain of the thought behind this design. The shaft of the toy itself is quite rigid due to the solid core, so while the surface of the silicone does have some give to it, there’s largely no flex to the toy at all. The only exception to this is at the very tip, because the core only extends around 3″ of the way down the shaft, so the last 1 1/2″ at the end is just silicone all the way through. The overall appearance of the Stronic Zwei does rather remind me of a torch, and I’m not referring to the electric kind, it’s more like the sort of flaming torch you’d find at an Olympic relay, or I guess if I were American I’d liken it to the Torch of Freedom that the Statue of Liberty holds as she stands watch over New York harbour. You have to hold it at just the right angle to get the full effect of it, but the top half does look like a torch flame flickering in the wind if you hold it aloft.

The Stronic Zwei has a total of ten different settings which are comprised of three “algorithmic” modes, three constant speeds, three “dynamic” modes (patterns) and a generic “on” setting. What’s different about Stronics is that they’re not vibrators in the traditional sense, they thrust, and this is immediately apparent as soon as you turn one on. Inside the core of the shaft is a solid mass which oscillates back and forth when the toy is activated, and this is what generates the thrusting sensation. It’s very impressive to see it in action, and just holding it in your hands is enough to get a good sense of how it’s going to feel as it shakes around like a pneumatic drill. The toy is turned on by holding down a button labelled “Fun” and then off again by pressing it a second time. It begins on the default setting and then you have the choice to either switch down into the algorithmic modes by pressing the (-) button or go up through the constant and then dynamic modes by pressing the (+) button. It can be slightly confusing without consulting the manual, and in fact I missed the three algorithmic modes altogether the first few times I used it, so I’ve included a copy of the relevant page below. The different modes don’t all loop together like a cycle, and are instead arranged in a linear fashion, so once you press a particular button all the way through to the end of that section you’ll need to switch over and start moving back through them all again in the opposite direction. The button system works well for the most part, and the buttons are nice and responsive, but my only minor niggle would be that the toy doesn’t remember which setting you were last using when you turn it off and on again, instead always reverting to the same default, so each time you need to cycle back to your speed or pattern of choice.

Inserting the Stronic Zwei is relatively simple to begin with, provided that you’re used to the size, and the squishy silicone tip makes it a rather comfortable experience without the need for warm up, while the matte surface holds onto lube nicely and allows the shaft to glide into the body. The second bulge along the shaft can be a little tricky to overcome and requires a bit of force to encourage it into the body. What hinders things somewhat is the guard piece built into the silicone, because frankly it’s the wrong shape. I mentioned previously that it’s not perpendicular with the shaft, and herein lies the problem, because not only is it diagonal, but it slants the wrong way. You’ll find that as you’re trying to insert the second bulge the front fin of the guard will begin really digging into the perineum, while the fin at the back is an inch away from ever touching the body. It turns out that the only way to get the guard piece to sit flush with the exterior of the body is to rotate the whole toy by 180 degrees, but this isn’t ideal because then the buttons on the handle are pointed downwards and out of sight, and the curved tip of the shaft is no longer angled into the prostate. Your only option is to restore the toy to its original position and live with it not sitting quite right, but it does seem like rather a ridiculous design mistake to make, and not something that I’d expect from Fun Factory. When the toy is fully inserted the girthiness of it does feel pleasantly filling, but I have to say that it doesn’t stay in place very securely, and this is distracting, so you need to retain a constant grip on the handle. This is down to two things really: firstly there isn’t a sufficient neck on the shaft below the second bulge, so the sphincter really has no place to clamp down around to hold the toy in position, and secondly the pressure that the uppermost guard fin applies to the perineum acts like a lever, and the result is that the second bulge will try to work its way out at the slightest provocation.

When you first turn on the Stronic Zwei it is a completely unique sensation, and slightly strange at that. I was talking the other week about the Revo 2 being a pretty innovative anal toy, but I feel that the Stronic goes so much further than that. Even at low speeds it really does feel like thrusting, but what’s funny is that you can feel the inertia of this mass moving in and out, but with a complete lack of friction to the surrounding areas, and without the sensation of the rectum expanding and contracting. Immediately I found I had to urge to crank up the power to see what more it could do. One small let down is that it’s not an especially deep thrusting sensation; because the mechanism of the toy only extends 3″ into the shaft, and not all the way to the tip, that’s all you’re going to get, and possibly less if the guard piece interferes with your ability to insert the entire shaft. The result is that the thrusts feel quite shallow, sort of like if you were having sex with someone and instead of doing a full stroke they opted just to continually pop the head of their member in and out of you, and it does leave you craving more. Thankfully the  power settings do go some way towards compensating for this, and when you have it set to number 4 it does feel quite strong. The rapid thrusts of this power level feel vigorous and produce a deep rumbling vibration which permeates through every part of the body in the near vicinity, and especially into the prostate. At this point all you’re focussed on is the effect on the prostate, and I found that this is the feature that really makes the toy worthwhile. The throbbing, pulsing sensation delivered by the thrusts into the prostate is really quite wonderful, and while it’s not marketed specifically as a prostate massager is definitely performs well in this regard. I have to say that as always I couldn’t help but crave a little more power. I kept thinking back to the surprise I had with the Palm Power and wondering what the Stronic Zwei might have been able to offer if it was mains operated rather than rechargeable.

Feeling the rhythm and vibrations of the toy alone is pretty nice, but the experience is really improved if you help it along a bit with some manual manipulation. Using a very gentle thrusting action to massage the prostate with the shaft of the toy really improves the sensations it provides, and after a while of this I did start to feel as though I may be on the road towards a prostate orgasm as there was a steady build up of feeling in the area.

The three patterns of vibrations add some nice variety to the toy and in fact I found myself alternating between all of them just to mix things up. They feature various sequences which include a mixture of slower weaker thrusts and faster more powerful ones, so it’s harder to get accustomed to the rhythm like you can with the steady thrusts.

The Stronic Zwei is a rechargeable toy and it utilises Fun Factory’s magnetic “Click ‘n’ Charge” system, just like their other products that I’ve reviewed, the Duke and Cobra Libre. The end of the charging lead clips onto the contacts at the base of the handle and stays firmly in place thanks to the strong magnets, so it won’t accidentally become dislodged. During charging a red light on the plug illuminates to indicate the flow of power, as well as the buttons on the Stronic which glow sequentially, and everything conveniently extinguishes when the charge is complete, letting you know that it’s ready to use. Because the charging system is the same on all Fun Factory toys it means that the adaptors are interchangeable, so they sell them separately from the toys themselves so you don’t end up with more than you need. It makes it it very easy to find the right charger for your Fun Factory toys and relatively hassle-free.

The Stronic is also a completely waterproof toy which makes cleaning it a breeze, and the silicone allows it to be carefully sterilised using a mild bleach solution, which is always a handy thing for any toy being used anally.

Overall the Stronic Zwei is a rather tricky toy to evaluate because it definitely has its high points and its low points, but what its design really highlights is the potential for this sort of toy, which currently is the first of its kind. It’s a really well made product which utilises quality materials, as well as being both rechargeable and waterproof. The shape can be pretty annoying with its backwards guard piece and the fact that it doesn’t stay in place well, but it’s also pleasantly girthy. I think that possibly the overriding factor has to be how it feels, and it really is unique, unique in a way that I think you have to experience for yourself. The thrusting sensation is like nothing you’ll feel from any other toy, but more importantly it feels good. It really targets the prostate in a deep permeating way which few other toys do, and for that reason I’d have to suggest trying it. The real difficulty for me is the price, because it is expensive. I couldn’t honestly sit here and say to people that this is the be all and end all of anal toys, and that they should splash out safe in the knowledge that they’d never need to buy another toy, because that simply isn’t the case. What I can say though is that by and large it delivers, and it delivers something pleasurable. If you want something that’s new, that’s different, and that’s going to take you to somewhere you haven’t quite been before, and if you can comfortably afford it, then the Stronic Zwei is definitely a worthwhile piece to invest in, flaws and all.

You can buy the Stronic Zwei from Simply Pleasure.

Mojo Spades Small

Last month when Sam from Simply Pleasure sent me the Jimmyjane Hello Touch to review she was kind enough to throw in a couple of samples from the Mojo range of toys. I must confess that Mojo isn’t a brand that I’ve heard of before – nor do I know from where it originates, though its products bear a “Made in China” mark on the packaging – but as always I’m keen to try out something new. 
The two items which I received were the Ion Strength Cock Ring – which I may review at a later date – along with one of the Spades butt plugs. The plugs come in two sizes, a Large and a Small, and I happened to get the Small. You can check out the review below.

The Mojo Spades Small is indeed a rather diminutive butt plug, with its shape reminding me somewhat of a pinecone in its early stages of life. It measures in at just 4″ long, with 3 1/2″ insertable, and around the widest point the circumference measures 4 1/4″ (around about 1 1/4″ diameter).
The plug is manufactured out of silicone and is entirely odourless, tasteless, and completely body-safe. It’s a reasonably firm silicone with a slightly matte finish, but the size of the plug means that it’s easy to compress and bend about. The quality of construction seems good on the whole; there is a mould line running along the length but it’s very subtle and can hardly be felt. Other than that there are no visible defects or flaws to mention. One thing which is slightly strange about the build of the plug is that it doesn’t feel completely solid. When you attempt to bend it or squeeze it it just doesn’t behave quite right, almost as though the centre is hollow and encloses a void of trapped air. This theory gains a little more credence from the fact that the plug does seem a little lightweight for its size. I was going to say that unfortunately there’s really no way to tell without cutting it in half, but then whilst roughly playing around with it I discovered a less destructive way to confirm my suspicions. If you push firmly enough on the base then the neck-like section can be forced up and into the bulb of the plug, something which physically could not happen if the plug was solid all the way through, so it definitely is hollow, and not a feature that I’ve never encountered in a toy before. Despite being hollow the walls of the plug seem thick enough to make it quite a sturdy piece, so there’s no immediate cause for concern.

The shape of the Spades plug is pretty much your standard sort of conical butt plug design. It has quite a pointed tip and the whole plug is rather elongated, giving a gentle taper all the way down to the widest point. Beyond the thickest section the plug begins to narrow again and has a nicely-rounded underside which meets with the base of the plug. There is almost a neck between the bulb and the base, but it seems slightly foolish to refer to it as such as at best it’s no more than 1/4″ long. Unusually for a butt plug the base is designed as a suction cup and is very thin and floppy, additionally it’s barely wider than the rest of the plug at only 1 3/8″ in diameter. I have to say right now that it’s not the most reassuring design in the world, and I’ll go over some of the safety concerns in a little bit. The only other thing to mention about the design of the plug is a slight piece of detail on the bulb, which appears in the form of a raised ring which wraps around it at an angle. It’s hard to describe so it’s better to look at the picture to get an idea, but suffice it to say that this detail doesn’t have a great impact.

The plug is nice and easy to insert, and you wouldn’t really expect otherwise given the size and shape of it. The tapered tip glides easily through the sphincter, and shouldn’t pose much of a challenge to even the tightest of beginners. Once you get past the widest point the Spades does that classic butt plug thing of being sucked in the rest of the way, and here’s where we start to have a problem. Because there’s really no neck on the plug the sphincter doesn’t have an adequate place to come to rest once it’s inserted; you need at least an inch of neck for this to work properly, not 1/4″, so instead the muscle rests half on the underside of the bulb and half along the base. With the muscle right up against the base like that you’ll find the base being really drawn up into the body, and the surface of it sits completely flush with the surrounding skin. The real issue here is that frankly the base isn’t fit for purpose; it’s so thin, so floppy, and so narrow, that one small amount of pressure on it and it’s just going to fold up and be sucked into the body entirely. Simply put it’s not even remotely anal-safe, and potentially even dangerous. If you’re a beginner then possibly the stiffness of the muscle will work in your favour, but heaven forbid you’re feeling relaxed back there, because at times I could sense that I was mere moments away from losing it for good.

I’m sure that somebody reading this is thinking “It has a suction cup, doesn’t it? Surely if you stick it to something then that’ll stop you from losing it?” Well that is a good point, but it’s also flawed. Firstly we need to come back to the design of the plug. We’ve established that the plug has no neck, and that the base sits flush with the anus, so we have to think about what happens when you sit down. When you’re seated your anus typically doesn’t touch the surface that you’re sitting on, because the muscle and bone of the buttocks protrudes and gets in the way. If you have the plug stuck to a surface then you’re never going to be able to get close enough to the surface to have the plug fully inserted, so it doesn’t really work. The other issue of course is what you’d even do in that situation were it possible. Most people like to wear a plug during sex or whilst walking about, and not just sat down somewhere where a plug happens to be stuck for a little bit. On the subject of the suction cup, it does do an adequate job of affixing itself to most surfaces and holding firmly in place, so I can’t fault it in this regard.

Putting aside the problems with the base momentarily, the plug does feel comfortable when worn, though obviously it’s not especially filling. You can walk around with it in and it feels fine, and that base isn’t detectable under clothing, nor does it dig in or irritate the flesh. The plug doesn’t feel overly secure for the most part, just down to the lack of neck, as it means the sphincter never closes completely and the underside of the bulb is only ever a short way from starting to make its way back out. You’re caught between trying to clench the sphincter sufficiently so as as to hold the plug in place, but not so much as to accidentally pull the plug too far into the body.

On the whole I’m just not impressed and I’d probably suggest that people avoid this plug. It’s made from a good material, and it is inexpensive, but that doesn’t make up for the dangerous base, the pointless nature of the suction cup, and the fact that it’s hollow in the centre. It’s a good size for beginners, but if I were a beginner and I had an accident with this plug then it would have sent me into a real panic, so it’s not worth the risk. There are plenty of good, small, silicone plugs out there if that’s what you’re looking for – ones which are safe. Safety always needs to be paramount with anal play, so bear that in mind and put your money towards something you can have confidence in.

The Mojo Spades Small is available from Simply Pleasure.

Jimmyjane Form 2

I was chatting to Sam from Simply Pleasure the other day about my review of the Jimmyjane Hello Touch, and she enquired whether or not there was anything else from the Jimmyjane range that I fancied taking a look at. On the whole Jimmyjane products do seem rather geared towards women, but as I’ve expressed before I am a man who enjoys vibrators, so the unusual design of the Form 2 immediately caught my eye. If one vibrating motor can feel amazing when pin-pointed on the most sensitive parts of the penis, then imagine what it would be like with two. Now that I have one it’s time to put that theory to the test!

I’m going to start this review with a brief disclaimer of sorts: this is in fact my second Jimmyjane Form 2 in so many days, as the first one I received wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about working. It’s not the only time I’ve had a toy that showed up DOA (if you remember my Cobra Libre episode last year), but I will say one thing, if ever you have a problem with anything you purchase from Simply Pleasure, then there are some lovely people there who will really go out of their way to make sure you get a replacement ASAP. Jimmyjane themselves also offer a 3-year limited warranty on their products, so if something goes awry you’re safe in the knowledge that you’re covered.

The Form 2 is a multi-award-winning product from Jimmyjane’s luxury collection of rechargeable vibrators, so already it has a fair amount to live up to. There are four products in total in the Form collection, numbered 2, 3, 4, & 6, and no, I don’t know what happened to 1 & 5 either. I’m resisting the urge to make a portmanteau of “Form” and “Fibonnaci” in an attempt to create a witty descriptive for this unusual numerical sequence, but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s not to question how sex toy designers name their products; in that regard I’m like Captain Janeway and temporal paradoxes, and not doing so definitely helps to avoid some headaches.

The design of the Form 2 is that of a small pocket-sized vibrator which fits conveniently into the palm of your hand. It’s intended to be used solely for external stimulation, and the shape is somewhat reminiscent of the “ears” on a traditional rabbit vibrator, so you can see where they were going with the concept. It does almost look as though it could be the head of a bunny from a claymation film, though one friend I showed it to was convinced that it reminded him of a tooth. It has a nice rounded body which is easy to hold, and which is where the buttons to operate it are located, then from the top two finger-sized protrusions emerge, each of which contains a separate vibrating motor.
The Form 2 is available in two colour options: a very bright shade of pink and a more subdued slate-grey. Neither of these are what I would ordinarily describe as my favourite choices, but the slate is actually really nice when you see it in person. It’s neither a lifeless grey, nor a severe black, but rather the hue of an attractive pebble you might pick up on a beach, so it works. 
The exterior of the vibrator is coated with a nice layer of velvety silicone, and the whole thing appears to be built to a high quality. There is the notable presence of a mould line running all around the toy, which isn’t actually that uncommon in my experience, but what is unusual is just how pronounced the line is. There’s a definite raised seam travelling along the sides of the toy and right up to the tip of each finger, and it feels quite firm to the touch. Usually when companies find it unavoidable to have a mould line on their vibrators’ silicone coating they go to great lengths to minimise it and make it as subtle as possible, but I see no evidence of that here. It’s a slightly strange thing to behold, especially on a high-end product from a luxury toy manufacturer. One of the big advantages of the silicone coating is that it completely seals up the toy into one enclosed unit, meaning it’s waterproof as the electronics are all locked away inside. The other benefits are to do with the material itself because silicone is odourless, non-porous, and completely body-safe, so you can feel confident when you’re using it.
The Form 2 has a selection of five power levels and four different vibration modes to choose from, and these are controlled by three buttons located on the front of the toy. The (+) button turns the toy on and increases the power level incrementally, while the (-) button decreases the power and eventually turns the toy off again.  Pressing the (~) button while the toy is active will cycle through the different vibration modes. The toy has a couple of useful features to offer involving the buttons: one is that the Form 2 will always remember your chosen pattern, so when you turn the vibrator off and back on again it’ll be set to the last mode you were using. The second is that is has a travel lock which is activated by pressing (+) and (~) simultaneously for 3 seconds, so you can take the Form 2 away with you assured that it won’t accidentally turn on in your luggage.
The vibrations on the Form 2 are lovely and strong, especially on the higher power levels, and it’s quite impressive for a rechargeable toy. You’ll find that the vibrations really focus right at the tip of each finger, which is precisely where you want them to be at their strongest. The amplitude of the vibrations is in the medium to rumbly range, and in terms of both intensity and rumbliness the Form 2 is less powerful than the We-Vibe Salsa,  but while still having a commendable amount of strength to it.
The four patterns on offer are as follows: constant, random jitter, a slow increase and decrease in power, and a series of rapid pulses. Having only 4 patterns is a little less than some other vibrators offer, but they cover all the main bases and nothing especially stands out as being missing. Sometimes having too many patterns can be detrimental as they start to employ strange sequences, and it takes too long to cycle through them all to find the one you want, so I’m quite content with four 
The Form 2 is a wonderful toy to use on the penis, and the smooth silicone glides easily over the surface of the skin with very little drag, eliminating the necessity of lube. I’m pleased to say that the raised mould lines around the tips really weren’t noticeable to me during use, and that was something of a relief as the last thing you want is to feel scratching on the genitals. My original hypothesis was that the two fingers would work nicely when placed either side of the frenulum, and I’m glad to be able to report that I was correct. The frenulum is one of the most sensitive and nerve-rich areas of the penis, and typically when using a vibrator you would stimulate it directly, so indirectly stimulating all around it produces a wonderful alternative sensation. It’s especially nice to slide the tips up and down the length of the entire shaft, nestling them below the head when you reach the top. The two fingers have a gap of around 1cm between them at their widest point, but they’re both flexible allowing you to squeeze them together for more pinpointed stimulation, or even just to pinch the frenulum gently between them. What works really well about the design is that the two tips stay in place on the penis in whichever position you want them to be; this allows you to hold the Form 2 n position against the frenulum with one hand, and then use the other for a masturbating action on the shaft of penis. If you try this with a regular bullet then typically the tip will drift out of place and you’ll have to break your focus to reposition it.
The dual motors in the tips work very harmoniously together for the most part and compliment each other. The only real exception to this is with the jittery pattern, which doesn’t always seem to function at the highest power setting unless you squeeze the fingers together slightly. In a technical sense this may be considered a fault, or a flaw in the design, but it’s so minor that it doesn’t especially bother me. In general my preference is to use the constant setting whilst moving the vibrator about, and this stimulates both the surface of the skin and has the vibrations penetrate deep into the shaft. It can also be pleasurable to hold the side of the vibrator flat against the shaft of the penis and set it to one of the pulsating patterns. However you choose to use it you can be assured that it can produce an orgasm swiftly if that is the desired effect, but by reducing the power and dancing around the periphery of the most sensitive areas you can really prolong a sense of teasing and titillation.
The Form 2 may not be as powerful as the We-Vibe Salsa but it does make up for it through its design. Having the two motors really gives it some versatility and makes it especially enjoyable to use, all the more so if you’re looking for variety. In terms of the level of sound it makes I can happily say that it’s quite a quiet toy, and it out does the Salsa in this respect. At the lesser power levels it produces only a low hum, which turns into a soft buzzing when it’s turned right up to the max. The Form 2 is slightly louder when on a pattern than it is on constant vibration, and the pitch of the vibrations also changes when you begin to squeeze the tips together, though this pitch change doesn’t have a huge impact on the volume. Overall I can safely say that no one in another room is going to be any the wiser when you’re using this Form 2.
The Form 2 is a rechargeable toy and this is accomplished by the use of a handy charging cradle which fits any product in the Form range. The base of the cradle has two magnetic contacts which match up with with a metal ring on the underside of the toy, and you simply pop it into place to charge. A light comes on on the toy to let you know that it’s being charged, and you can leave it there for as long as you like as overcharging isn’t possible. There is some slight confusion over the recommended length of the initial charge, with the manual suggesting 8 hours and the Jimmyjane website only 2, but I’d err on the side of longer just to be careful, so you don’t want to be too impatient when you first get it. 
The charging cradle of course must be plugged into the mains, and it comes with another one of these universal power adaptors which I first encountered with the Silver Swan vibrator the other week, and again with the Palm Power. As far as the geek in me is concerned they’re quickly becoming one of my favourite things. The charger comes in two separate parts: there’s a transformer connected to the power lead which plugs into the cradle, and then there’s a selection of different prongs which clip onto the transformer, depending on where in the world you want you use it. There are four different attachments in total, one for the UK, EU countries, Australia/New Zealand, and North America/Japan. The prongs clip on slightly less firmly than on the previous universal adaptors I’ve experienced, but it’s enough to form a secure unit, and it’s a simple button push to pop them back off again and switch them. For added peace of mind the button is located in a position where it can’t be touched while the charger is plugged into a socket, so there’s no chance of accidentally separating it while live current is flowing. The design is convenient in two ways, firstly because you can buy a Form product anywhere and know that it’ll work when you get home without the need for adaptors, and secondly because you can customise the charger when you’re planning to travel abroad on holiday.
The Form 2 comes in some rather nice packaging; it’s simple, tasteful, everything you want really. The Form 2 itself and the base of the charging dock come held securely in a white plastic insert within the box, while the universal adaptor is bundled up within a smaller box inside the box. One thing I will say is that the Form 2 doesn’t come with a storage pouch, which is odd for a high-end toy. Nearly every other manufacturer will throw in a simple cloth pouch along with their vibrator once you reach a certain price point. There is the option to buy a separate pouch from Jimmyjane on their website for $5, but I can’t help but think “really, you’re charging this much for a product, and you want to squeeze an extra $5 from consumers?” Most people I know like pouches for their toys, most people I know also like to feel that they’re getting something for free. It really would have been worthwhile for Jimmyjane to bundle the pouch with it and absorb the associated cost, or even inflate the base cost ever so slightly to account for it. I certainly won’t be using the main box for long term storage, so some form of pouch would have been handy, but I’ll probably just pop it in with my We-Vibe Salsa to keep the dust away from the finish.
Overall I can happily say that I’d recommend the Jimmyjane Form 2 to anyone out there. If you enjoy using vibrators on your penis, or you have a partner who does, then it’s definitely one to try out. It’s a lovely looking toy, really well made, with powerful vibrations, and the unique inclusion of two separate motors to add a whole new dimension to what you’re doing. I’m really glad that it’s a new addition to my toy drawer and I can definitely see it getting a lot of use. It also proves that while the Hello Touch might not have been a stroke of genius, Jimmyjane’s innovation can lead to good places.
You can buy a Jimmyjane Form 2 from Simply Pleasure

Palm Power Massager

I was having a little chat with the lovely Sam from Simply Pleasure the other day, and she asked if I’d be interested in trying out one of the Palm Power Massagers. I’ve never used a vibrating wand before, but I’ve been hearing great things about the Hitachi and the like since forever, so I was definitely keen to give this a shot. As always, check out the review below.

The Palm Power massager is a mains-powered vibrating wand from BMS Factory, the Canadian company behind the Swan, Leaf, & Lux product lines, as well as the renowned PowerBullet™ vibrating motor.
What’s surprising about the toy is actually the size of it, because despite looking like quite a hefty piece of equipment in photographs, it actually does fit into the palm of your hand. The whole thing is about 7 1/2″ long, and when you have your fingers wrapped around the nicely curved base of the handle your thumb comes to rest right on the power button near the top, so it really is ideal to hold. The head of the wand measures in at near to a 1 1/2″ diameter sphere, but don’t be fooled by the size because it really does pack a punch. 
The wand is made largely from a hard grey ABS plastic, with a soft matte finish which provides ample grip when holding it, as well as a couple of hot-pink accent pieces, including a removable silicone end cap. It’s a slightly odd colour combination, and looks almost as though they borrowed a few ideas from the Jimmyjane colour palette. Personally I might have designed something a little more muted, but in this case I’m not overly concerned with appearances.
The Palm Power has only one button, and is operated by what the manual refers to as the “Press and Hold” system. You press the button once to turn the toy on, you hold it down to increase the power level, then you press it again to turn it off. It’s a pretty simple system and it works well without overcrowding the small handle. One thing which is nice about how it works is that there aren’t incremental power levels, so instead of picking between pre-defined strengths you can set the intensity to any point on the scale between zero and maximum. I wouldn’t have minded if they’d included another button or two, because the two possible things which can go wrong during use are: a.) you try to increase the power just slightly and accidentally turn the wand off completely, or b.) you increase the power by too much, then have to turn it off and start again at the beginning to find where you were. Another button or two could solve this, but honestly I’m really nitpicking here as for 99% of the time it works fine how it is.
When the Palm Power is turned on it’s amazingly powerful, and truly rumbly too, even at low speeds. My first reaction was to flit between thinking “wow, so much power can come out of something so small?” and “so this is the difference between mains power and battery toys!” If you’ve ever looked at a small wand before and jumped to an assessment along the lines of “it looks like a child’s toy, what can it really be expected to do?” then dispel that pre-judgement from your mind, because you’re in for a surprise. What’s interesting about the toy is how differently it performs depending on the intensity you have it set at. When you first turn it on you find that you get quite a bit of feedback, and the handle vibrates just as much as the head, causing your arm to judder around. Once you get it right up to the high speeds it’s only the head which moves, and the handle feels calm and almost entirely motionless. There’s a curious point right in the middle where you can switch back and forth between the two actions; if you press the head firmly against the body then it can cause the handle to start vibrating, but if you then move the wand away and squeeze the handle it sends the vibrations back into the head. It’s one of those cases where you can tell that the behaviour is down to physics, and it would probably take engineers quite a while to eliminate it from happening, but it’s not that bad. Personally I lean towards the higher power settings, but if you prefer to play on low then a little shaking in the arm shouldn’t be to bothersome.
Power inevitably does bring with it increased noise, so when you’re up close with it it can come across as a little loud compared to other toys. What’s good about it is that it’s a pretty standard vibrating noise, and not some terrible rattling sound. I can safely say that leaving it 1m away from a closed door, and standing on the other side of it, it can only be heard ever so faintly. This really surprised me, but it’s obviously the type of noise which doesn’t travel, so I wouldn’t worry too much about people in adjacent rooms hearing your sexual exploits, unless you’re the one making the sounds rather than the toy.
There are two main ways you can use the Palm Power: as an actual body massager, and of course as a sex toy.
It almost seems strange to review it in its capacity as a body massager, and maybe this is why I can sense that this paragraph will be short. The simple fact is that it really works. I’ve never used a massager such as this before, but those strong rumbly vibrations I mentioned earlier really do penetrate deep into the muscle tissue of the body. All you need to do is press the tip into the muscle you wish to massage, crank up the power, then just relax and feel how soothing it is. I’d be highly inclined to suggest it to anyone who has a lot of muscle tension, or who has a partner who could benefit. A few minutes spent feeling the vibrations rippling through your body is enough to make anyone feel better. If you want to double the action then you can move the head around the muscle at the same time, and use a firm pressure in a circular motion to massage manually alongside the vibrations.
As a sex toy the Palm Power in it’s basic form is somewhat limited in how you can use it, because it is essentially restricted to being an external vibrator, but as soon as you start using it and feeling its power then the last thing that will be on your mind is what it can’t do. Massaging the head and shaft of the penis with the wand is quite an intense experience; there are some vibrators which feel pleasant enough but which still take a while to get you off that way, but this certainly isn’t the case. With the Palm Power turned up to full strength, and applied to just the right spots, I could have climaxed in seconds if I’d allowed myself. That’s just how effective it is. Of course rarely does anyone want to cum that quickly, most of the time you want to draw it out for a good long session, and this is perfectly possible with the Palm Power too. Changing the power settings is always one option, and a low vibration is better for sustained steady titillation. It’s also about where precisely you apply the wand. With a little bit of water-based lube applied to the tip you can slide it wherever you want it, so instead of focussing mainly on the more sensitive parts of the penis, around the head and frenulum, you can work lower down on the shaft, only occasionally making contact with the most erogenous regions. You don’t have to use a lube, the silicone head does slide quite nicely over the skin, but there is a degree of drag which not everyone will appreciate.
Another thing which is fantastic about the Palm Power is that a selection of interchangeable heads are available for it (sold separately), and I was lucky enough to be given these to test out as well. There are two sets, the Palm Body and the Palm Sensual, each containing two different heads, and I’m going to be awkward here because I prefer one from each. The pink silicone cap easily pops off the head of the wand, and one of the attachments slips on securely in its place. The new heads are all made of 100% silicone, but what’s interesting is that they feel different to the standard cap. They’re quite a firm silicone, but the surface of them feels softer, more velvety, and slightly more luxurious. It made me wish that the standard cap was a little more like this, not that there’s anything wrong with the way it is currently, it just shows that there is room for some slight improvement.

The Palm Body kit contains two attachments specifically designed for use when massaging the body: the Palm Finger – “two pointed edges to relax every muscle in your fingers and palm” and the Palm Arm – “two rounded edges glide over your arm for a truly magnificent massage.”

The Palm Finger is one of my favourites, and not for the reason for which it’s apparently intended. It has two little prongs at the end, which stick up like bunny ears on a rabbit vibrator, and these really focus all the vibrations from the wand at their tips, seeming to amplify the intensity further. I gather that you’re supposed to use it on the hands and fingers, but I didn’t get much out of this; where it really comes into its own is on the genitals. I’ve always been curious about those two-pronged vibrators like the Jimmyjane Form 2, and this pretty much satisfies the question of whether or not that design is effective. Running the two prongs up and down the shaft of the penis is blissful, having them lodged beneath the head and straddling the frenulum. I dare say that using the Palm Power like this is better than using it without. If you could only pick one attachment then this would be the one which I recommend.

The Palm Arm is an attachment which really is best suited for use on the body. Because of its shape it also focusses the vibrations from the wand at its tips, but because they’re so far apart it makes it impractical for genital use. On the other hand it does feel rather nice to run attachment over the forearms and biceps, so it does fulfil its intended purpose, though I’m not altogether certain that I’d acquire a vibrating wand with the express intention of massaging arms. If you do have a penis as thick as a forearm, then perhaps you could re-purpose it, but I’d still maintain that the Palm Finger is more suited in that capacity.

The Palm Sensual kit contains two attachments specifically designed for sexual stimulation, though more female sexual stimulation I hasten to add, but at least one of them is good for a man. The first is the Palm Below – “rounded flexible neck for G-spot stimulation” and the second is the Palm Dual, which looks a little like a miniature version of the Silver Swan.
The Palm Below is my second favourite attachment, because it can be used like a prostate massager. It has a nice flexible neck, so you can comfortably insert the end of it into the anus, then have the head of the wand sitting against the perineum. The downside to the attachment is that the vibrations don’t travel through it quite as well as in the Palm Body pieces, so rather than the vibrations becoming focussed right at the tip, instead they remain strongest down closest to the wand. The result is that you feel vibrations mostly strongly outside the body along the perineum, but enough do travel through the silicone to deliver pleasant sensations to the prostate. It doesn’t stimulate the prostate as well as some specialist prostate massagers, but it’s definitely nice to have this option and versatility with the product.
The Palm Dual I must confess I haven’t used. The shape of it and flexibility of the material just makes it impractical for a male body in terms of trying to insert the ends anywhere. The tips do again help to focus the vibrations, however, so you can use the ends for more pin-point accuracy during external stimulation if you wish. Other than that there really isn’t a great deal to say.
The Palm Power utilises one of the same type of universal power adaptors as the Silver Swan, but the two aren’t interchangeable due to the use of different voltages, as well as having dissimilar plugs which connect them to the products. I still find the whole design of them to be rather ingenious however. The adaptor comes in two separate parts: there’s a transformer connected to the power lead which plugs into the toy, and then there’s a selection of different prongs which clip onto the transformer, depending on where in the world you want you use it. There are four different attachments in total, one for the UK, EU countries, Australia / New Zealand, and North America / Japan. Each of the sets of prongs clips on really firmly to form a secure unit, and it’s a simple button push to pop them back off again and switch them. For added peace of mind the button is located in a position where it can’t be pressed while the charger is plugged into a socket, so there’s no chance of accidentally separating it while live current is flowing. The design is convenient in two ways, firstly because you can buy the product anywhere and know that it’ll work when you get home without the need for adaptors, and secondly because you can customise the adaptor when you’re planning to travel abroad on holiday. 
The power cable for the toy is nearly 2.5m long, which is great for a mains-powered product as it gives it gives you a lot of distance to utilise while still being tied to the nearest socket. What’s slightly unusual for a mains-powered toy is that the power lead isn’t wired into it and can be detached. I rather like this though, because it means I can neatly put the wand away into my toy drawer, then wind up the lengthy cable and store with all of my other adaptors. Conveniently the plug actually has “Palm Power” printed on it, which makes locating it amongst my drawer of cable spaghetti so much easier, compared to every other toy and its generic charger.
The Palm Power is not waterproof, so you want to be careful when cleaning it. What’s good is that the end cap is removable, so you can wash it separately then replace it when it’s dry. If you make a mess with lube all down the handle then you’ll have to try to carefully wipe it up with a damp cloth, when it’s unplugged of course.
The packaging for all the Palm Power products and accessories is a nice simple clear plastic box, which can be recycled. I’m really not going to go into too much detail in an already essay-length review. Suffice it to say it’s tasteful and serves its purpose, but you probably won’t choose to keep it. You don’t get any sort of pouch to keep the wand in so you might want to buy one yourself.
In summation I would most certainly and wholeheartedly recommend the Palm Power Massager, especially with the attachments. It’s a great little toy which manages to be incredibly powerful, pocket-sized, and not too noisy. It’s well worth adding it to any collection, for sexual use or otherwise.
The Palm Power is available from Simply Pleasure.

Jimmyjane Hello Touch

Sam from Simply Pleasure got in touch the other week and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing the new Jimmyjane Hello touch for them. It’s a type of toy that I’ve never tried before, and I’m always keen on indulging in new experiences, so I readily accepted. It also happens to be my first item from this particular manufacturer. 

The Hello Touch is a rather unique product on the market today; it’s a vibrator designed to be worn on the fingertips, so you can touch yourself in a more natural way while still getting that vibrating sensation that you’d want from a sex toy.
The unit consists of a plastic powerpack, about the size of a disposable cigarette lighter, connected to two vibrating pods by a thin 8″ cable. The whole unit is permanently sealed, so the pods can’t be removed from the battery pack, and I actually see this as a bit of a missed opportunity. As it only comes with two pods it might have been an idea to sell another two as an optional accessory which could be plugged in alongside the existing ones. Each pod contains a small silver vibrating motor, about the size and shape of a watch battery, and is sealed within a clear plastic housing. The pod in turn fits inside a silicone holster designed to be worn over the fingers. The powerpack has just two buttons on it, one for ‘on’ and one for ‘off’, neither of which is labelled, so it’s up to you to remember the positions.This comes with a small grey cuff, designed to be worn on the wrist, and the powerpack fits into a pocket on the top.
The vibrators themselves aren’t that strong, and are quite buzzy. In terms of intensity I’d put them at a low medium, and they have that high frequency feel to them. They’re the sort of vibrators which are good for shallow surface stimulation, but not for deeper penetration. I’m almost certain that one of them is stronger than the other, though I don’t think that this was ever intentional. There are no real options with the vibrators, just one strength and no patterns, so you have to be hopeful that they’re set to a speed which suits you.
The Hello Touch is powered by two AAAA batteries, and no that wasn’t a typo. Thankfully they do come included with the product as they’re not the most easy to find items, and unless you’re in the habit of taking 9V batteries apart you’re unlikely to have ever encountered them. The manual states that you can get 6 hours of use out of the batteries, which seems reasonable, but I’m not sure how wise it is to power your toy with such an uncommon battery. The logic is clearly centred around keeping the device small, but I can’t see that going up to a standard AAA would have been that much detriment to the device.
When it comes to using the toy for the first time your fingers will slip quite easily into the silicone holsters as the material does stretch out nicely. The only thing is that this is quite deceptive, because while it does stretch easily once you let go and the material contracts it feels rather snug around the fingertips. Quite rapidly you can start to feel the circulation being cut off by the tightness, and the tips of your fingers begin to turn a shade of crimson. The Straps manage to position themselves across the nail bed as well, which isn’t the most comfortable position to experience a feeling of constant pressure, so before you’ve even begun to use the toy you do start to wonder “how long am I going to have to leave this on for?” Steadily the fingertips do begin to throb a little, and I’m sure that the following sensation would be pins and needles, though the presence of which is quite hard to distinguish once the device is turned on. 
The fabric cuff fits quite well I found; it was a small struggle to pull it over my hand but it felt snug around my wrist. I should point out at this point that I am a slender man with mere 6″ wrists, so I do question how well this snug one-size-fits-all cuff would fit larger people. The powerpack slips into the pocket which holds it firmly in place, and conveniently the material has marked on it the locations of the buttons, so you know exactly where to push. What is strange, however, is that the fabric shows three buttons, while the Hello Touch only actually has two, so you’re left with this interesting traffic light design where the middle marking serves no purpose. The cuff doesn’t look bad while it’s on, if aesthetics were a concern for you in this situation; it just looks like a sweatband with a strange lumpy box on the top. I can see that they were trying to keep it small, but they could have made a bit more of the shape, and there’s plenty of room for it to be wider. A quick look into modern watch design would have been beneficial for the person behind this I feel. I’ll admit that when I first put it on I did have visions of looking like Seven of Nine from Star Trek Voyager, in the way in which she had Borg technology all over one hand, but instead I look more like I was assimilated by an Apple knock-off.
Actually turning the device on and off is awkward because of the way in which the buttons were made. They’re stiff, ever so stiff, and require an awful lot of force to depress. You can’t simply tap a button on your forearm and have it respond, instead you need to rest your wrist atop a surface, then come down on the buttons with the full force of your other arm for them to react. I’d consider this a design flaw, because heaven forbid you need to turn the thing off in a hurry. It’s actually easier to operate the controls when the device isn’t within the cuff, which rather defeats the point of it.
For the most part the Hello Touch is quite quiet; I can turn it on now and hear only a faint buzzing above the whirring noise of my laptop fan. The problem is that it’s not consistently quiet; sometimes you’ll move your hand in a certain way and suddenly it starts making an almighty racket. For such a small toy it’s surprising how much noise it can kick out, and once it starts it can be difficult to make it stop. It can really throw you out of the moment when the noise starts; it’s a gentle vibe so you want to couple it with thoughts of relaxation, but when it sounds like a miniature road crew is digging up your fingertips with tiny jackhammers it ends up being quite disruptive.
The Hello Touch can be used anywhere on the body, and the key really is not to think too much about what you’re doing. Just keep in mind all the places you typically touch on a partner’s body, or where you like to be touched yourself, and then just proceed as if the toy wasn’t even there. For most areas it’s best to wear the pods on the index and middle finger, and then you can let your hand start to wander, stroking across the arms, chest, nipples, the inner thighs, and wherever else takes your fancy. It’s best to use a light touch I found, because then the vibrations can be felt more across the surface of the skin, whereas with a firmer pressure they become absorbed into the body and are less noticeable. The downside of the silicone cases if that they do grip and drag a bit across the skin, rather than sliding easily, so it’s not a seamless action.
The main focus of the Hello Touch is obviously going to be the genitals, and it does feel quite nice just to slide the vibrating fingertips all around the pubic region, across the scrotum, along the perineum, and around the anus. For penile simulation it’s best to switch the pods to being located on the thumb and forefinger, then starting at the base of the shaft you can lightly grip the penis and run your fingers slowly up towards the head. This delivers quite pleasurable sensations, and gently repeating this action up and down can be a nice way to gently tease yourself or someone else. The most effective area to stimulate in this way is the highly-sensitive frenulum, and to make things a little easier it’s worth applying a little lube to the area to reduce the drag. Another good idea is to place one finger on the frenulum, then the thumb on the other side of the penis, and squeeze the head between the two. The combination of the pressure on head and the vibrations coming from both directions delivers quite a satisfying experience. I’m not certain that I could ever climax from this alone, as while it is a pleasurable sensation, it’s not a strong sensation, but I’m not certain that I’d ever really want to use it to that end either, as I don’t really see that as the purpose of this toy.
There are of course other uses for the Hello Touch, both the manual and the Jimmyjane website suggest that it can be used anally, with fingers inserted whilst wearing the device, but I don’t feel that that’s something I completely agree with. I decided not to put it to the test for a few reasons, 1.) I know that buzzy vibrations do absolutely nothing for me anally, without exception, 2.) as a matter of hygiene; when you think of all the other places your fingers can go whilst wearing these, is it really worth the time spent trying to scrub them clean again after they’ve been inserted there? 3.) as a precaution; the silicone holster portion can be removed from the vibrating pods, albeit with some force. While personally I believe this is highly unlikely to ever happen, the silicone portion could feasibly come off whilst inside you, and then you’d be left fishing around trying to retrieve it from within your body. I can understand why some people might want to try this, that “come hither” motion with the fingers is highly regarded as a prostate-milking technique, so the curious may think that doing it with vibrating fingers would be a good idea. My only suggestion is, douche thoroughly first to make sure everything is as clean as can be, and put on a rubber glove over the device before you insert any fingers, that way you can’t lose anything.
One alternative use I do quite like involves taking the two pods (sans silicone jackets), placing them on either side of the head of the penis, then sliding up the foreskin to hold them in place. That way you get a nice constant vibration on the penis, and your hands are left free to do other things with.
I get the impression that it’s designed to be more of a couples toy, and that’s certainly how I’d use it. Outside of testing the product I can’t really see myself spending a lot of time sitting around touching myself with it whilst trying to masturbate, but at the same time I would use it with a partner. I primarily see it as a tool for foreplay, something for teasing another person with as you slowly explore the nooks and crannies of their body with a gentle vibrating caress.
When you are done with the Hello Touch for the day it’s quite easy to clean as the vibrating pods are waterproof, so you can give them a good wash, you just want to be certain not to submerge the battery pack as this would surely damage it. The Hello Touch even comes with its own rather unusual cloth pouch for storage, which actually works fairly well once you figure out what you’re doing with it.
The hardest part of this review has to be the summary, because would I recommend the Hello Touch? I think that probably a lot of what it’s going to come down to is the price. It currently retails for around £40 / $65, and when you think about what else is available on the market for a similar price it’s just not worth it. If it was £25 then yes, I’d probably tell you do go for it; it’s a fun bit of kit and that sort of price would take into account the flaws I highlighted, as well as the slightly cheap-looking insides which greet you when you change the batteries. For £40 you can simply get more bang for your buck, that’s the same price as the We-Vibe Salsa, a rumbly rechargeable toy, with multiple powerful settings, almost guaranteed to satisfy you. Would I recommend this toy for personal use? No, it just won’t hold your interest. Would I recommend it for use with a partner? Yes, it certainly has its role here, but you have to think of it strictly as a foreplay tool. If you know exactly what you’re going to be using it for, and you don’t mind paying over the odds, then go for it as it does bring something new to the table. 
One thing I will say for the Hello Touch is that it does have potential, it just should have spent longer in R&D. Give me version 2.0, with a watch strap, easy to use buttons, the sort of tiny rechargeable battery that Lelo fit in their Tor cock rings, and vibrators which are quieter and more powerful, and maybe then we’ll be talking.

If you’d like to try the Jimmyjane Hello Touch you can buy it from Simply Pleasure.