The dildo is like a towering obelisk of a sex toy, starting off with a reasonably-sized head which somehow still manages to appear too small for the gargantuan shaft it sits atop. It’s a fairly nice looking head with a deep groove by the meatus (the opening into the urethra) which almost clefts the underside of the glans in two, but it does have a slight leathery texture to it which detracts from the appearance. The shaft directly below the head is quite narrow, making the coronal ridge appear rather pronounced on all sides, projecting out as much as 3/16″ in places, and there is some detailing in the immediate vicinity, such as frenulum remnants on the underside and a few raised veins. From its modest beginnings the shaft steadily continues to increase in size with an even taper, broadening out like a cone until it reaches the widest point at the very middle of the shaft, after which it begins to narrow again slightly as the remainder of the length makes its way down towards the balls. What’s interesting about the shaft is how much the shape changes depending on the angle from which you’re looking at it, because this broad middle section is only apparent when you’re looking at the dildo from the front or back, and when viewed from either side it appears that the widest point is right down at the base where the shaft sprouts from the balls. This is because the shaft has a very irregular cross-section; near to the base the third column of erectile tissue is very prominent, giving the dildo a width measurement of 2″ from left to right and 2″ from front to back, but by the time you reach the middle of the dildo this central column has all but disappeared, reducing the front to back measurement to only 1 3/4″, while the left to right measurement grows to 2 1/4″. It’s like going from an almost circular cross-section at the base to a wide flat oval in middle, which then continues as a narrowing oval up towards the head. I think of it almost like a cobra with its hood expanded, the way the middle is so broad and flat below the head and the whole shaft curves forwards ever so slightly, but I’ll spare you a trouser-snake joke. At the very base of the shaft is an impressive-looking pair of large and asymmetric balls. The right testicle is notably much larger than the left, and it hangs lower and further away from the shaft, giving it slightly more depth in the dildo too. On the whole it’s a slightly odd-looking dildo, more attractive from some angles than others, and perhaps the least pretty of the seven I own. I suppose if I were more of a Mick Lovell fan than I actually am then I might feel otherwise about it, but from a completely objective standpoint it doesn’t turn me on considerably by itself. I’m sure that were he my favourite porn star then I’d feel differently about it, as the thought of owning a part of someone you really like is a strong part of the appeal of these toys, but I certainly wouldn’t kick its owner out of bed had I ever the opportunity to get my hands on the real deal.
When it comes to using the dildo the initial insertion is a mostly effortless experience thanks to the nice tapered head and its modest size, but it quickly becomes apparent that the pronounced nature of the coronal ridge is going to cause some quite intense feelings against the sphincter. Normally the soft silicone is quite gentle and comfortable, cushioning things as the toy enters the body, but here it’s not quite enough to accommodate the shape, and you wish for a softer Vixen dual-density coating as it almost scrapes its way through. Once you are over the corona you feel a slight bump of relief as the head pops completely inside, and because the top of the shaft is narrower than the head itself it gives you a place to pause briefly before going further. The taper of the shaft is quite gentle, allowing you to go at a steady pace, slowly stretching yourself out to what is quite a significant thickness at the widest point. Due to the high level of realism in the dildo all the minute detail of the skin and veins that’s captured in the surface creates a noticeable level of texture, which in turn causes a degree of drag. In the stretching phase you really do feel every little bit of this texture and drag, so it doesn’t glide in completely smoothly, and it’s necessary to have a thicker anal lube to help with this. As the dildo goes deeper the thickness becomes more and more apparent and it feels like it’s going to keep on getting wider forever, but at the same time something feels slightly wrong about the way that it’s stretching you out. The issue actually comes down to the shape of the dildo, and that broad flat central section. The anus itself is actually an oval, but it’s a tall thin oval rather than a short wide oval, so when you try to insert the dildo it stretches out the sphincter too much in the wrong direction. The only way to really get around this fact and make things feel more comfortable is to rotate the dildo by 90 degrees and insert it sideways, which isn’t really ideal.
You have a couple of options of how you can choose to use the dildo, questions of orientation aside. The balls at the base make a convenient handle to grab onto and manually thrust with, but their size and broad footprint also give the dildo a low centre of gravity, so you can stand it upright somewhere and ride it without it toppling over. Because the dildo has a thick shaft, without too much curve, it has enough structural integrity to allow you to squat over it and insert it without having to guide the tip in by hand. This is quite useful in case you ever get too energetic during play and slip off the end, as you can just drop back down again and have it inside you without fussing around. Some of the advantages of the dildo come in terms of how much you can insert. It’s a little bit longer than the average rectum, but because of the narrower tip it makes it easier to get it deeper into the body if you’re determined to try and use every last inch, and the flexible silicone will help curve around in the body to a degree too, further aiding the process. Because the tip of the dildo is quite nice and soft you can afford to be fairly rough when messing around with it, without worrying about internal discomfort, and a vigorous thrusting session isn’t likely to result in you experiencing an unpleasant poking feeling inside.
Actually thrusting with the dildo wasn’t a terribly pleasurable experience for me, no matter what technique or orientation I tried with it. Despite having experience in the past with toys larger than this, the wide middle section always left the sphincter feeling overly stretched with every thrust, and pretty much discouraged me from wanting to keep repeating the motion. Even after the sphincter had relaxed enough to allow thrusting the texture of the surface still aggravated the soft tissues around the muscle. The other issue was that the section that was inside me didn’t seem to be doing anything. The slight curve, the ridge on the head, none of it was having any effect on my prostate, so I was failing to get any enjoyment out of the experience. The shape of the toy places the narrowest part inside the body and the widest point further out where the sphincter is, which is actually the reverse of what I find works best. Compare it to the fantastic Tantus Duke which has the opposite arrangement and is one of my favourite toys. It feels a little strange criticising the design of this toy because it wasn’t really designed at all, it was copied from nature, but this is one penis which really should never have been made into a dildo, at least not after someone tested out the first prototype. It’s sort of a shame really because I’ve yet to be disappointed by anything in the Fleshjack range (especially something coming from a cute guy like Mick), but if it’s taught me anything it’s that I prefer a more traditional penis shape, with a big bulbous head and a uniformly thick shaft. In fact now that I think about it, this comes close to being as bad as the shape of the awful James Deen dildo I tried a while back. I can hardly stress enough how much I did not like using this dildo.
The dildo comes packaged inside a cardboard box, but something a little more than just an ordinary box. The box is black for the most part, and adorned with various brand logos and images of Mick holding his dildo, but the front of the box is actually a door which can be opened. The flap is held down with velcro, but once opened you can see the contents of the box inside clearly through a plastic window. The dildo is held securely inside the box by a plastic tray which is moulded to the shape of it. On the whole the packaging is nice and it’s perfectly suited to storing the dildo in long term.
Overall I’d have to say that this is probably the first dildo from Fleshjack that I wouldn’t recommend. When it comes to making highly-detailed realistic dildos Fleshjack really are the masters, and this is undoubtedly up their usual standards, but the problem just appears to be the source material. Unfortunately Mick Lovell‘s penis just isn’t a very comfortable shape to ride when reproduced in silicone, and every time I’ve tried it I’ve been disappointed. There are simply better toys out there in terms of sensation, rather than wasting your time and money on this one. Unless you’re a die hard fan of Mick who wants to see and feel his dick up close (and store it in a display case, because using it will wreck any fantasy), then I’d suggest you steer clear and try one of the other six of these that I’ve reviewed and would recommend over this.
The Mick Lovell dildo is available from Esmale where you can get an extra 10% off when you use the code ‘INCEND10’ and the checkout.