Tantus Champion

Last week I quietly celebrated the 7-year anniversary of starting this blog, and today we’re taking a look at a blast from the past, with the “newish” Tantus Champion.

Anyone who’s been reading my blog for a while might remember my review of the Max O2 from way back in April of 2012, and if you think that these toys look similar then don’t worry because your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

The Champion is one of the latest in Tantus’s ongoing project to tweak and re-release some of their popular toys from the past, and I thought it might be fun to do a little comparison seven years down the line.

Come see what I made of it.

 

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California Exotics Long John

Valentine’s Day is behind us, I’m filled with more pancakes than an IHOP, and this blog turned another year old this week!
Today I’m starting the first in a series of reviews for the nice folks over at TooTimid.com, who’ve kindly provided me with some products to put through their paces for you guys, so let’s get to it!

One of the criticisms that I’m aware can be levelled at my blog is that I don’t review a whole load of affordable toys, and while a perk of having been at this for six years now is that companies trust me to offer a thorough breakdown of their more expensive items, this omission isn’t intentional. The fact is that often it can be hard to find a quality toy that doesn’t break the bank, especially if you care about the safety of the materials you put inside your body, and you should do. While it’s certainly great to have the luxury of expensive tastes, not everyone is in a position to stretch to spending $100/£100 on a dildo, so today I’m hoping to go a little way to remedy this.
The Long John from Cal Exotics is a 100% silicone dildo which costs only $35.95, so when I spotted it on the TooTimid website I knew that it would be the perfect thing to review for them. It comes in a simple choice of a flesh colour or pink, which is quite a reasonable selection for a budget toy.

The first thing that struck me about the Long John was the similarity between the shape of its shaft and that of The Boss dildo from Fun Factory. They both incorporate a subtle sweeping S-shape down their length, the difference being with the Long John that it has a more overtly phallic appearance with its prominent head, veiny shaft, and all culminating with a pair of balls at the base.

The other difference with the Long John is its size: it measures a total of 7 1/4″ in length, with 6″ insertable, and an average circumference of 5 1/4″. It falls into what I’d consider to be a realistic size for a dildo, not ridiculously huge, but also not specifically small for beginners. It’s that sort of Average Joe size that should appeal to anyone looking to replicate that experience with the man off the street rather than a porn star.

The construction of the dildo is good, but also a point of interest for me because of one particular peculiarity. While the whole shaft is solid, the balls themselves appear to be filled with air, something which is reinforced by the appearance of a plug-like piece in the base. You can squash them and compress them, and they really don’t give you the impression of them being solid. This doesn’t really affect much about the dildo other than being a curiosity, except for the fact that the base is convex rather than being flat, which seems to be attributable to the air inside. The effect of this is that the dildo doesn’t stand up very easily and tends to teeter around even if you’ve managed to balance it correctly. It doesn’t really bother me that they’ve tried to keep costs down by saving material in this hollow section, but it might have made more sense just to leave an open bullet hole in the base, rather than a cavity in the balls, as at least this way there’d be the option to use a suction cup with it, etc.

In terms of the finish on the dildo it has an entirely matte surface and feels nice to the touch. There’s visual evidence of a mould line running the entire length, but it’s not raised and can’t be felt, so it’s not an issue.

When it comes down to use I’m happy to say that the dildo works and hits all the right spots, and why wouldn’t it considering how much I enjoyed The Boss before it? It’s actually rather a relief as it would have been annoying to have finally found a good quality affordable dildo, only to then have to write it off because the shape was a dud. One of the first things about it is that it’s actually a great manual thrusting dildo. It’s lightweight and ergonomic so you can comfortably lie back, hold it in your hand, and go to town as long as you please. I find that in this position it works best to hold the dildo so that the ridge on the head is aligned with your prostate, and then relatively shallow thrusting will help to target it well and deliver lovely sensations. The silicone is quite firm, but it has enough flex in it that you can bend and angle the shaft to really target it right where you want the most pressure from that ridge. The other way to use it, and generally my preferred method, is to place the dildo on a flat surface and ride it. The only downside here is that because the dildo is lightweight, and the base isn’t flat, it can jump around a bit, so it helps to hold it down. In this position I find that the dildo works best flipped around 180 degrees, so then it’s that big rounded section of the ventral side of the shaft that does all the work. As you lower yourself down onto the dildo you really feel its entire shape, and your body follows every twist and curve, far more so than you’d imagine. Once you’ve worked up a steady rhythm you can really feel the bulge in the shaft massaging your prostate to great effect. It works best with a deeper insertion, and thanks to the shape and modest length it’s possible to get right down to the base with no discomfort, allowing a worry-free ride no matter how vigorous you get in the process. Despite all the textured vein detailing on the shaft, you don’t really feel any of it during use, and just get a smooth gliding action in and out. It is best to use a little extra lube with the dildo though, as if you’re being minimal with it you can feel a little drag.

The actual shape of the dildo makes really well suited to people of all experience levels, as that small tapered tip makes it nice and easy to insert for those more at the beginner end, while those comfortable with bigger things can still appreciate the great sensations that come when it hits just the right spot. It’s obviously not going to be the most filling dildo in the world, but it’s a nice alternative when you still want sensation but without the stretch.

The Long John is of course made from silicone, and the reason you want a silicone dildo is because it’s a completely inert material that’s safe to put inside your body. It’s also non-porous, so it won’t harbour bacteria deep within it, and you can sterilise it via boiling or mild bleaching, and safely share it with a partner.

I have to say that I really am impressed with this dildo. It’s amazing what you can pick up for $35, something that’s well made, has a good functional shape, and that’s made with safe materials. I can only hope that more manufacturers will follow suit and start offering a wider range of affordable silicone toys. If you want to pick up something that’ll show you a great time without blowing the budget, then I can happily recommend this one.

Many thanks to TooTimid for sending me The Long John, and it’s available from them right now!

Tantus Steam Hunk

Black Friday’s a-comin’ and I figured I’d better get a move on and post this review, because if there’s one toy you won’t want to miss out on when the sales roll around, it’s this one!
Head below to find out what all the fuss is about!

The Steam Hunk is the latest collaboration between one of my all-time favourite sex toy manufacturers, Tantus, and the awesome folks over at SheVibe. This is the very same dream team that gave us the Bound back in 2014, and I couldn’t be more happy to see them working together again on new original designs.
It takes a lot to impress me these days, but without exaggeration the Steam Hunk has to be one of the most incredible, unique, and gorgeous toys I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s a bold statement, and you probably have to be a sex toy reviewer to get this excited over a dildo, or perhaps getting this excited over a dildo is what turns one into a sex toy reviewer to begin with, but either way it’s a stunning piece. 
The name of the Steam Hunk gives away the inspiration for its design through its clever play on words, because it’s steam-punk through and through. Like something resembling an old Victorian boiler, the dildo incorporates pipes, tubing, rivets, layers of sheet metal, and mysterious cannisters, all crafted in loving detail. As lovely as it looks in photos, it’s something else to actually hold in your hands and pour over every facet. I want to display it somewhere as much as I want to use it, because it’s a piece of art.
The shape of the dildo is vaguely phallic with its big flared tip, and two tanks tucked close to the base of the shaft like a pair of balls. It’s raw and industrial, like it’s just waiting for you to shovel hot coals into it so it can begin to chug and splutter, and drive a pneumatic piston that thrusts back and forth. It perfectly encapsulates what a clunky steam-driven vibrator might look like, and it does so quite beautifully. 
The Steam Hunk comes available in a choice of two colours, a wrought iron black, or a dazzling copper. Both fit the theme, but to my mind it’s the copper that does it the most justice, and I’m so happy to see Tantus introduce this new option as it’s truly exquisite. The way it gently shimmers in a metallic fashion completely elevates the whole design and makes it extra special.
In terms of size it is quite a hefty dildo, measuring in at 8″ tall and with a chunky 4″ x 2 3/4″ base, but a good portion of it is mostly decorative. There’s around 5 1/4″ that are actually insertable, and around the widest point it has a circumference of 6 1/8″, so if you’re more of a thickness over length person (like me) then it should be perfect. 
When it comes to using the dildo it’s definitely more of an intermediate toy, and even then I’d be inclined to recommend a warm-up first. It is possible to insert it straight off the mark, but it’s quite a rounded tip and a rapid taper, so you’ll want to go slow. Once you hit the widest point of the corona you get that traditional “pop” sensation as the head gets pulled into the body and you make your way further down the shaft. In contrast to the smooth head the shaft itself is pretty textured, thanks to all intricate detailing exhibited along it, but here’s where the material plays a big part. The Steam Hunk is made from Tantus’s SuperSoft silicone, which means that none of the texture feels harsh or rough against the body. This is a big contrast to the Bound which looked incredible, but was so firm that the texture felt like sandpaper on my sphincter. Thumbs up to Tantus for making this change, and for their recent trend of using the SuperSoft silicone more widely in general. 
Probably the best way to use the Steam Hunk is to straddle it and ride it, because the big broad base and low centre of gravity makes it stand securely upright on any surface. It’s a little bit more cumbersome to try to thrust with manually, though still possible if you prefer that. The fact that only around 65% of the dildo is useable means that this portion is essentially elevated up from the ground by the remainder, which makes it even more comfortable for riding as you don’t have to go down quite so low when balanced on your knees or haunches, and I always enjoy that. 
The thing that makes me happiest about the Steam Hunk is that it performs just as well as it looks, and it’s largely down to the shape of the head. The wide slightly-angular design creates a coronal ridge which juts out and carves a path through your prostate like a plough through a field. You don’t even need to figure out a special technique for using it, as a simple up and down thrust will have it easily hitting the sweet spot straight away, though you can up the intensity by changing the angle and pulling the flexible silicone even more firmly into the gland. Once you start riding it you really want to keep going and work up a good rhythm, because it does a fantastic job on the prostate. The other thing I like is the texture from the shaft, because it creates an interesting amount of additional sensation in the sphincter which complements what’s happening internally. You feel all these delightful subtle little bumps and ridges with every motion. It’s probably one of the more comfortable dildos I’ve used too, because of the limiting factor of how much you can insert. A thrust naturally comes to an end when you reach the tanks at the base of the shaft, and at that point there’s no risk of the tip of the dildo crashing into the top of the rectum. You can thrust around as much and as vigorously as you want, knowing that you’re protected from discomfort by the soft cushioning silicone and the fact that it can never go too deep. 
If I were to try to find any flaw with the Steam Hunk it would only be that it isn’t suction cup compatible. It’s not a big deal, but it’s always a nice option to have in a dildo, and considering the size of the base it could have incorporated a hole to plug one into.
I must say that I am a huge fan of the Steam Hunk, and Tantus have really done it again with this design. It’s just so incredibly amazing to look at, and it works like a charm too, so I couldn’t ask for anything more. It’s redefining what sex toys can be, and should be, with an unseen level of creativity that goes far beyond facsimiles of penises, and I can’t wait to see where they go next. I have to whole heartedly recommend this product, because it continues to beguile me even as it sits across from me on a table. I honestly can’t think of a better gift for that person in your life who enjoys dildos.
I have to thank Tantus for generously sending the Steam Hunk to me to review. You can pick one up straight from their website, where this Black Friday everything is 50% off!

VixSkin Outlaw

Fresh off the heels of my Johnny review I thought I’d tackle the fourth and final dual-density Vixen dildo in my collection, the mammoth that is the Outlaw.
Head below for more!

When it came to buying another VixSkin dildo back in 2013 there was really only one direction for me to head in, and The Outlaw may well be the biggest dildo in Vixen’s repertoire. To put it frankly, it’s a beast, and how else would you describe something that’s as long as your forearm and thicker than your wrist?
The Outlaw is what I like to think of the ultimate fantasy dildo. If you’ve ever dreamed of sex with an abnormally large penis, the type that’s rare even within the world of porn, then the Outlaw is the big squishy colossus that’s going to make it happen.
It’s quite uncommon amongst sex toys to find a dildo that’s both massive, realistic, and made from a high-quality material, so the Outlaw is a truly unique catch. To give you an idea of the sheer size, it measures 9 1/2″ from base to tip, with 9″ insertable, and a circumference of 6 1/4″ which remains consistent down its length. Not something you could exactly hide in a pair of skinny jeans.
The design is much more muted than with the Johnny, with a completely straight shaft and a head that barely flares out, but it maintains the same high level of detailing. You can see the grain of the skin all across the shaft, along with plenty of shallow surface veins, and near the head there’s a wrinkle of foreskin that wraps around and forms a frenulum on the underside. On the whole it’s still pretty realistic, as much as it can be for something of its size, but slightly less so than the Johnny. 
The Outlaw is made from Vixen’s dual-density “VixSkin” silicone, which employs the same principle as the Tantus O2 toys to create a realistic feel. At the core there’s a medium-firm silicone which gives the toy its structure, and this in turn is coated in a layer of plush squishy soft silicone, which mimics the spongy nature of the glans. I absolutely adore the feeling of these toys, and it’s hard not to sit there just squeezing them every time you take them out.
When it comes to using the Outlaw you’re really going to want a warm up toy, because there’s not a whole lot of taper on that head. I used it right on the back of finishing up with the Johnny, and I found that that was sufficient. As long as you’ve done a little bit of the work first, then inserting the Outlaw is actually pretty easy and comfortable, and the soft material helps to gently stretch you to accommodate it. Once you’ve got past that you can begin to experience just how filling the Outlaw is, especially as you take it deeper. The initial fullness is very pleasant and enjoyable, but depth can be a challenge as it begins to stretch you in places that aren’t used to that girth. If you’ve mostly been using conical butt plugs to become accustomed to taking larger toys, then the deeper areas will only have experienced the narrow end of the taper, so something long and thick will comes as a shock. This does actually make the Outlaw a good training tool for taking bigger things deeper, because the softness of the material ensures minimal discomfort as you steadily attempt to work it deeper inside.
In terms of performance the Outlaw is a blunt instrument, and everything it does comes down to its size. The whole dildo fills you up so well that it can’t avoid hitting your prostate every time, and so there’s no nuance to the design, or need for any little trick. It really doesn’t even matter which way around you insert it, because that bulbous tip is going to do its job regardless of where the ridge on the head is facing. One thing I really like about the Outlaw is the extra height it gives you whilst riding it. Unless you’re planning on taking it to the base every time, it enables you to thrust without having to squat all the way down to whatever surface you’re resting it on. Most of the time shallow thrusts are all you need for good prostate stimulation, and it can feel quite intense. The wonderful fullness combined with the repeated firm contact with the gland creates a wonderful and highly-satisfying sensation. You really do get that fantasy scenario of this big schlong stretching you out and bludgeoning all your erogenous zones, as it drives you towards ecstasy. It’s a totally different experience to with the Johnny, and allows you to blissfully indulge in a true size-queen moment.
Much like with the Johnny the balls do let the Outlaw down a little. The dildo won’t even stand upright by itself once they’ve begun to curl up, so you will need to hold it and guide it into your body, rather than just lowering yourself down onto it. It’s not a huge deal, but sometimes you do want to set a dildo aside while in the middle of using it, without lying the lube-covered sections against a surface.
So let’s cut to the verdict on this one. If you want a huge, realistic, body-safe donkey dick to fulfil all your fantasies, then this is the one I’m going to recommend. Vixen make some incredible products, and I definitely love the Outlaw. I’m not quite the size queen I used to be, but for special occasions it’s great to bring out the big gun
The Outlaw is available from SheVibe, Lovehoney U.S, and Lovehoney UK