The people from Clone-a-Willy contacted me last week and asked if I’d like to review one of their kits. I’ve wanted to try out something like this for while; I love dildos that are moulded from real people, such as my Pierre Fitch dildo from Fleshjack, so the idea of making one of my own really appeals to me. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a fan of my penis, so the thought of having a replica is pretty cool, especially one that I can then use on myself.
This review is part 1 because unfortunately my efforts went a little awry, but on the principle that we learn just as much from failures as we do successes, I thought it would be useful to share my experience anyway. I intend to obtain more materials and try again in the future, at which point I’ll update the review.
The Clone-a-Willy kit is a product which enables you to make an exact copy of any penis that you can get your hands on, whether it be your own, your partner’s, or that of a celebrity you have tied up in your basement.
The kit all comes neatly bundled up inside a clear plastic tube, which is itself part of the kit, and contains almost everything you’ll need to make your phallic masterpiece. It’s available in a variety of options: light tone, dark tone, black, glow in the dark, as a candle, as soap, and even an edible chocolate version. I just went for a standard light tone.
Included in the kit is:
- A plastic moulding tube
- An instruction sheet
- A sachet of sodium alignate impression powder
- A pot of silicone rubber base
- A pot of silicone rubber catalyst
- A vibrator (sans batteries)
- A small thermometer
- A wooden mixing stick
Additional materials you will need are:
- A mixing bowl
- A wooden spoon
- A measuring jug
- A disposable plastic cup
- A supply of water
- A timer
The first step in the whole process is to familiarise yourself with the instruction sheet. It’s set out with a sequence of individually numbered steps which I found very clear and simple to follow, but it’s worth reading it over a couple of times before you begin to ensure you have a firm understanding. You’ll find there are two main phases to the process, there’s making the impression of your penis, then turning that impression into the finished product.
Making the impression
To begin the process you first need to adjust the tube to size. The tube is 11″ long by 2.5″ wide, and should be big enough to accommodate most people. If you happen to have an 11″ penis, well then, good for you, I’m not in the slightest bit envious, but the rest of us will need to cut the tube down to an appropriate length. The reason for trimming the tube is due to the quantity of impression powder provided; there won’t be enough moulding material to fill up to the top of the tube unless your manhood is occupying up a space running right the way down to the base of the tube. I took a few measurements and then conservatively trimmed away a portion of the tube from the top. Remember, less is more in this instance, if you cut too little off then you can always remove more, but once it’s gone you can’t stick it back on. I then put my fully erect penis into the tube to double check, and pushed it firmly against my body. The tip of my penis almost touched the base of the tube depending on how firmly I pushed, and there was no need to make any further adjustments. I found that the 2.5″ diameter of the tube didn’t leave much room for error, and centring myself inside the tube was crucial to avoid accidentally touching the sides with any part. The instructions suggest using duct tape to tape up the end of the tube where you’ve cut it, but I didn’t find the cut edge to be sharp or uncomfortable, so I didn’t bother.
The next step is to actually make your mould, and it helps to lay everything you need out beforehand: the mixing bowl filled with impression powder, the wooden spoon, the measuring jug, the thermometer, the timer, and of course the tube. The instructions suggest that it’s preferable to have a partner around to help you, unfortunately I had no such help available, but I figured that as a virile young man I wouldn’t have much trouble doing this by myself; as it turns out this was not quite the case. Once you begin the process you only have 2 minutes in which to do everything, and I mean everything, and this alarmed me. I was actually beginning to feel a little anxious about the whole thing for a variety of factors: I didn’t want anyone to arrive and interrupt me at a crucial moment, I felt the pressure of needing to get it right and provide a good review for the people who sent me the product, I feared that I wouldn’t be able to do everything within the time limit, and most of all I wanted to make a good mould; like most men I’m rather proud of my penis, but the penis can vary a lot depending on arousal, and not just in terms of firmness, but the head can inflate or deflate more depending on blood flow, and I really wanted to capture my penis at its very best, at its peak, in all its glory. Now the issue here is that like any man will tell you, nothing kills an erection like anxiety. I put on some porn, got a butt plug and a cock ring ready, and tried to relax and get into the mood. Things began to work properly and I felt ready to make the mould. I filled the measuring jug up to 425ml with hot water from the tap, and used a binder clip to hold the provided thermometer to the side of the jug. The water was too hot so I continued to watch the porn and stay in the mood while the temperature dropped. As soon as the thermometer dropped to 37 degrees Celsius (98 Fahrenheit) I set the timer, poured the water into the mixing bowl and began to frantically stir. Almost immediately I felt my erection fading; I was mixing with one hand, trying to masturbate with the other, had one eye on the timer, the other on the porn. After 50 seconds of mixing all the powder was incorporated into the water and had formed a thick gloop. The instructions describe it as like pancake batter and I would agree with this simile. Time was up and I poured the mixture into the tube, it wasn’t that easy to pour it from the wide-rimmed bowl into the narrow tube, but I accomplished it with minimal loss, and the tube filled up to about 2″ shy of the top. By this time my penis was well and truly limp, semi-erect at best, and I was panicking, but there was nothing left that I could do so I carried on with the process. I plunged my penis into the mixture and it felt like, well, I couldn’t actually tell you what it felt like, in that state my mind had too many other things going on to record the sensation, but all I can say is that the mixture felt neither hot nor cold. Because the mixture hadn’t filled all the way up to the top I made the mistake of holding the tube at an angle as I inserted myself, and material began slopping out of the side, I tried to correct it, but by that point it was too late, and when I was fully inserted there was not enough material left to fill up to the top, leaving a gap there. I noticed that part of my penis was touching the side and I tried to rotate the tube, but my penis was too limp to move around in the thick fluid. The material set very quickly and turned into a jelly, then I removed myself and began thinking about the next stage. I should note here briefly that I did not shave my public hair beforehand, and in their neatly trimmed state the hairs pulled freely from the mould without discomfort.
My mould was a bit of a mess when I surveyed it: there was material up to the top of the tube on one side, but absent to about a quarter of the way down on the other, giving it a diagonal tilt. There was also the issue of a split in the material where my penis had touched the side of the tube. I had considered trimming the whole thing down completely and filling the cavity with the silicone rubber anyway, just to create a finished stump for the sake of the review, but that was until I peered inside it. There was something wrong with the bottom of the cavity, instead of the moulding of the head being nice and smooth there were cracks and holes in the material there, and it looked loose. It seemed like a waste to try to make a copy of this, so I decided to abandon this attempt until I could get more impression powder and try again.
I wasn’t sure what caused the defects in my mould, whether it was air bubbles or otherwise, but I decided to do some investigating, so I slid the moulding material out of the tube and carefully sliced it in half with a sharp carving knife. The material felt like a firm blancmange, but looking at the interior I could see little blobs of powder still which had not dissolved. One of the immediate problems I could see from the route of the knife is that my penis had gone in very diagonally, both pointing upwards and to the right. The interior surface of the mould had captured a lot of detail, and had I not lost lost my erection I believe I would have been pleased with the result. Only a few small air bubbles were present along the surface. The tip of my penis stopped 1.75″ before the end of the material, showing how much length I had managed to lose. The material surrounding the tip was very loose and cracked, and broke free, but I was unable to ascertain what caused it.
Based on my experiences so far I would have to say that I do like Clone-a-Willy as a product, but it is difficult to achieve a good result if you’re attempting it by yourself. The problems I experienced seemed partly to be human error, but the downsides to the product do have to be how quickly the material sets, and that the tube is a little on the narrow side. Considering everything that you get in the kit it’s pretty good value for money, and it’s definitely a fun idea for a product. I hope that I can try again soon and report back with details of a finished product, and some photos too.
Clone-a-Willy kits are available from Lovehoney